Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Smart Mouth Answers

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Smart Mouth Answers

    Smart Mouth Answer #5:

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
    a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
    trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your
    ticket not your stub."

    Smart Mouth Answer #4:

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
    couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get
    any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

    Smart Mouth Answer #3:

    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
    down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
    replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could". When the cop finally stopped
    laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

    Smart Mouth Answer #2:

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,
    "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
    stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The
    cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
    "Got stuck, huh?"! The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
    of gas."

    AND NOW........FOR THE #1 SMART MOUTH ANSWER OF THE YEAR:

    A college professor was warning her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
    class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
    consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury ! or illness, or a death in your
    immediate family, but that's it, no oth er excuses whatsoever!" A guy in the back of the room
    raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
    complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and
    s******ing. When silence is restored, the professor smiles knowingly at the student, shakes
    her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

  • #2
    I guy comes home from work and asks his wife whats for dinner and she replies "super sexy" while opening her robe and naked underneath.

    The man looks at her and says, "Hmm, I'll have the soup"

    sigpic

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by GRLSLUVFTBL2

      AND NOW........FOR THE #1 SMART MOUTH ANSWER OF THE YEAR:

      A college professor was warning her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
      class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
      consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury ! or illness, or a death in your
      immediate family, but that's it, no oth er excuses whatsoever!" A guy in the back of the room
      raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
      complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and
      s******ing. When silence is restored, the professor smiles knowingly at the student, shakes
      her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
      LOL OMG! PWNED!!!!!!

      the space that is mine



      We miss 'ya brother dime. We know your up there jamming with Cliff and Chuck. Stay metal :salute: :rockon:

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by GRLSLUVFTBL2
        Smart Mouth Answer #5:

        A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
        a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
        trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your
        ticket not your stub."

        Smart Mouth Answer #4:

        A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
        couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get
        any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

        Smart Mouth Answer #3:

        The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
        down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
        replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could". When the cop finally stopped
        laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

        Smart Mouth Answer #2:

        A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,
        "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
        stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The
        cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
        "Got stuck, huh?"! The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
        of gas."

        AND NOW........FOR THE #1 SMART MOUTH ANSWER OF THE YEAR:

        A college professor was warning her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
        class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
        consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury ! or illness, or a death in your
        immediate family, but that's it, no oth er excuses whatsoever!" A guy in the back of the room
        raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
        complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and
        s******ing. When silence is restored, the professor smiles knowingly at the student, shakes
        her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
        CP when they reset. I lol'd.

        Thank you Skywalker for the Marshall sig!
        sigpic

        Thank you Damien and Darrent for the memories. You will never be forgotten!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by GRLSLUVFTBL2
          Smart Mouth Answer #5:

          A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
          a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
          trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your
          ticket not your stub."

          Smart Mouth Answer #4:

          A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
          couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get
          any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

          Smart Mouth Answer #3:

          The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
          down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
          replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could". When the cop finally stopped
          laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

          Smart Mouth Answer #2:

          A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,
          "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
          stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The
          cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
          "Got stuck, huh?"! The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
          of gas."

          AND NOW........FOR THE #1 SMART MOUTH ANSWER OF THE YEAR:

          A college professor was warning her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
          class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
          consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury ! or illness, or a death in your
          immediate family, but that's it, no oth er excuses whatsoever!" A guy in the back of the room
          raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
          complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and
          s******ing. When silence is restored, the professor smiles knowingly at the student, shakes
          her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
          That made me smile, but it was definitely not your best performance.

          --Simon
          Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

          Comment


          • #6
            A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,
            "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
            stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The
            cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
            "Got stuck, huh?"! The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
            of gas."

            an Bill EnGval joke (probably spelled his last name wrong, The "here's your sign guy)
            Last edited by Saddletramp; 04-10-2007, 08:59 PM.
            [URL=http://s93.photobucket.com/user/Saddletramp69/media/asdf.jpg.html][/URL
            Adopted player Lindsey

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Saddletramp
              an Bill EnGval joke (probably spelled his last name wrong, The "here's your sign guy)
              When the G-gurl wakes up and reads her thread, we both be in trouble. But, who cares? Re-run jokes are just plain WRONG!

              --settin' the record straight in Littleton


              <insert laffin' icon here>
              Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by buckland
                When the G-gurl wakes up and reads her thread, we both be in trouble. But, who cares? Re-run jokes are just plain WRONG!

                --settin' the record straight in Littleton


                <insert laffin' icon here>
                how ya figure I am in trouble? I am not the one saying re-run jokes is just plain wrong, you did that.
                [URL=http://s93.photobucket.com/user/Saddletramp69/media/asdf.jpg.html][/URL
                Adopted player Lindsey

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Saddletramp
                  how ya figure I am in trouble? I am not the one saying re-run jokes is just plain wrong, you did that.
                  <can't-stop-laffin'-here icon> Damn, baby! But YOU were the one who referenced the origninator of her joke??

                  Hell, the way I figger, I'm just an innocent bystander here.
                  Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by buckland
                    <can't-stop-laffin'-here icon> Damn, baby! But YOU were the one who referenced the origninator of her joke??

                    Hell, the way I figger, I'm just an innocent bystander here.
                    first of all please dont call me baby, Redbirdy80 will be very jealous, and I take offense to being called that by someone I assume is a man. I dont swing that way, not now , not ever.

                    secondly, I just pointed out the fact that I had heard the joke before by referencing the comic who had told the joke when I heard it the first time. I see no reason for GLF2 to be upset with me.
                    [URL=http://s93.photobucket.com/user/Saddletramp69/media/asdf.jpg.html][/URL
                    Adopted player Lindsey

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Saddletramp
                      first of all please dont call me baby, Redbirdy80 will be very jealous, and I take offense to being called that by someone I assume is a man. I dont swing that way, not now , not ever.

                      secondly, I just pointed out the fact that I had heard the joke before by referencing the comic who had told the joke when I heard it the first time. I see no reason for GLF2 to be upset with me.
                      Re, "baby," just football talk, baby. "Baby," being kind of generic "man talk."

                      But, just "don't call me 'Shirley!'"

                      Deal? <Leslie Nielson deadpan look>

                      Re, your second point, I am glad that you pointed out to GLF that this was a "second-hand joke." You earned a CP for this, if you've audited your CP history recently.

                      The important thing is this: While I stated that GLF's funny was not good enough for me (in so many words), you pointed out to her that this was basically an old joke.

                      So, again, the way I figger, we're going down together. <laugh track, here>

                      Bottom line is this: she will survive. <----- actual laff icon, picked from list
                      Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Wow...the funny kind of died in this thread
                        Power is not revealed by striking hard or often, but by striking true.

                        It is men who endure toil and dare danger that achieve glorious deeds, and it is a wonderful thing to live with courage and to die leaving behind an everlasting renown.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Nightwing
                          Wow...the funny kind of died in this thread
                          I'm doing my best to revive the funny.... <rapidly thumbin' thru my "Funny CPR Manual".... >
                          Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by buckland
                            I'm doing my best to revive the funny.... <rapidly thumbin' thru my "Funny CPR Manual".... >


                            Planes goin' down.........shoulda bailed a few posts back.

                            There's an awkward silence in this thread right now....

                            other than the gentile breeze pushing the tumbleweeds......

                            oh, and the crickets.....of course!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Pipes7

                              Planes goin' down.........shoulda bailed a few posts back.

                              There's an awkward silence in this thread right now....

                              other than the gentile breeze pushing the tumbleweeds......

                              oh, and the crickets.....of course!
                              You are absolutely NUTZO! Don't tell me that you are the co-pilot here??

                              If so, this plane is goin' DOWN... along with that Conan guy with the carrot top head...

                              <WWII sounds of plane in out of control buzz dive...>
                              Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X