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Funny thing about bumper stickers…

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  • Funny thing about bumper stickers…

    You don’t see that many of ‘em anymore (‘cept on really junkie little cars), and I think that might be out of fear of reprisal, what, in this day ‘n age of drive-by shootings, carjacking’s, etc.

    [A word on “really junky little cars,” the owner apparently does not really give a fig if someone “keys” that rusted-out 70’s vintage Datson whose timing chain is on its last legs, because someone else may disagree with his/her political affiliation, views on Darwin vs. Jesus, stance on legalizing marijuana, abortions, et al, plastered all over the bumper and rear window.]

    There are still some around, however. The SUV-driving soccer mom still posts “MY SON IS AN HONOR STUDENT AT BATES HIGH SCHOOL.”

    Today’s redneck with a late-model pickup doesn’t want to clutter up his fine machine with “IF ALL GUNS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WOULD HAVE GUNS.” They just opt for the official NRA seal positioned at a tidy spot in the tinted rear window. [Strong disclaimer here: Uncle Buck has nothing against guns, just bumper stickers]

    Speaking of the soccer mom, has anyone seen the follow-up to that one, which made its debut a few years back? “MY SON CAN KICK YOUR HONOR STUDENT’S A**!”

    While a bit rude (and the owner of that particular vehicle might very well have a pit bull chained outside the back door of the trailer), I’ll have to admit that it made me smile (but just a little). I don’t like rude bumper stickers (or bumper stickers in general, for that matter), but I just took it as a message to those who choose the driver behind them to brag on their offspring’s personal achievements.

    Oh, then there is THIS one, which I saw last year on the car (yes it was junky, and the driver was skuzzy as well) in front of me at a McDonald’s drive-thru: “JESUS LOVES YOU. EVERYONE ELSE THINKS YOU ARE AN A**HOLE.” What a great message to be laid on you just prior to tossin' back a Big Mac!

    I guess bumper stickers are like stand-up comedians. You can laugh at them, should you choose to “slum it” a bit at the local comedy club. But you don’t have to take them home with you!

    [BTW, I owe Archimedes Owl for the inspiration of this post: “I want a bumper sticker that says, "All real men are physicists,” as posted in the “Men Are Just Happier People” thread.]

    uncle buck
    Last edited by buckland; 04-21-2007, 11:37 PM. Reason: addition
    Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

  • #2
    My dad's limo has a sticker on the back window where EVERYONE can see it. Its a well-known logo for my school (Punahou). Pretty god-darned proud of it.

    But other that my dad's limo and family car has no stickers (besides for the ones required for Airport stuff relating to taxis)

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    • #3
      Ive got my Broncos bumper sticker. Ive also got a CU window sticker on my truck.
      sigpic

      I think Ben Tate will be the best back taken in the 2010 draft. (5/3/10)
      SportsXPicks, check out the Rants and Opinions section

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      • #4
        Originally posted by NickTranOwnz
        My dad's limo has a sticker on the back window where EVERYONE can see it. Its a well-known logo for my school (Punahou). Pretty god-darned proud of it.

        But other that my dad's limo and family car has no stickers (besides for the ones required for Airport stuff relating to taxis)
        Well, school logos, seals, insignias, official mottos, etc. are acceptable to the likes of me.* Incidentally, following Columbine, there was a local outbreak of bumper stickers, but in honor of the victims--and as pledge that Columbine would go on!

        *Errrr... you weren't an "honor student," were you?
        Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

        Comment


        • #5
          I saw while here while back that read...

          Could you drive any better with that cellphone
          shoved up your ass".
          Tony G


          The Chefs

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          • #6
            Originally posted by draco193
            Ive got my Broncos bumper sticker. Ive also got a CU window sticker on my truck.
            Well, if anyone would key your truck for sporting a Broncos and CU sticker...man, that should be a federal crime, punishable across state borders!

            BTW, uncle buck touted twin Broncos flags, jutting out from both the driver and passenger windows of my truck. That was just prior to our ill-fated meeting with the friggin' Steelers in that championship game, two seasons back. Since I could not figger out a way to fly 'em at half mast, I just simply removed them in the wake of defeat.
            Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by buckland
              Well, school logos, seals, insignias, official mottos, etc. are acceptable to the likes of me.* Incidentally, following Columbine, there was a local outbreak of bumper stickers, but in honor of the victims--and as pledge that Columbine would go on!

              *Errrr... you weren't an "honor student," were you?
              In all grades in public school. But there weren't stickers for that.

              The sticker on my dad's limo is basically a yellow O with wings.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by KCLadyFan
                I saw while here while back that read...

                Could you drive any better with that cellphone
                shoved up your ass".
                Talk about a bumper sticker with a mission!

                Now, cell phones... that's an entire new topic! Wanna start a new thread, m'dear?

                While I'm not a fan of bans in general, perhaps an additional test should be required whenever you go to renew your DL... leading up to "cell phone approved" imprinted somewhere on your DL?

                The essence of the test would be to prove that you can multi-task:

                1. Can you chew gum and WALK at the same time, Wrigley’s Spearmint Breath??

                (Well, wait, even EYE cannot do that…)

                If, while on the cell phone in traffic:

                1. You are talking on the cell with your husband. A disagreement emerges. Do you suddenly slam on your brakes? (Automatic failure, skid-marks breath)

                2. You are a biz man, and you just learned (on the cell of course) that your main client is dropping you. So you:

                a. suddenly change lanes
                b. turn into a rage driver

                3. You are a soccer mom, trying to coordinate with your daughter’s schedule. Whenever she breaks into some gibberish, or the cell connection gets fuzzy, you slow down, confusing the driver behind you as well. [See test question 1. above.] Automatic failure.

                It’s late, this was poorly written, and I need to get some sleep. Add to the list if you wish….

                ub
                Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I completely agree that there should be more tests like those. If your better at multi tasking than someone else, than you should be allowed to multi task.

                  On a similiar subject (While a little {Quite a Bit} of topic), there is a proposal currently going about to lower the Drinking age to 18, but to force people to get drinking liscences where you have to go to classes and if you get caught like...

                  urinating in puplic

                  or in a drunk fight

                  or drunk driving, your drinking liscence gets revoked until your 21.

                  While off topic, its ideas like these which I like (and are similiar to multi tasking) Let those with skills or responsibility recieve benifits and those who cant drive and talk on the phone or drink responsibly not recieve the benifts.

                  The best motivation is a reward
                  Thanks Broncos for bringing back our roided up punter .

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                  • #10
                    I saw one that made me laugh the other day..It read..

                    "If your going to ride my ass, atleast pull my hair"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by buckland
                      Well, school logos, seals, insignias, official mottos, etc. are acceptable to the likes of me.* Incidentally, following Columbine, there was a local outbreak of bumper stickers, but in honor of the victims--and as pledge that Columbine would go on!

                      *Errrr... you weren't an "honor student," were you?
                      My daughter's an honor's student, but you will never see me
                      plaster one of those cheesy (sorry cheesy ) bumper stickers
                      on my car. Why? Well, for one, even though I'm proud of her,
                      I can't stand excessive bragging. Most importantly, I don't want
                      to advertise ON MY CAR that CAN BE FOLLOWED to MY HOUSE
                      that I have a DAUGHTER who goes to a CERTAIN SCHOOL for all
                      those perverts out there.

                      My personal favorites are the bumper stickers that say
                      "If you can read this...." You are following too close - but
                      they say it a little nastier than that. Of course, I'm
                      only able to read it because I'm stopped at a stop light,
                      of course........I never follow too close.
                      "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

                      John Stuart Mill (Look him up )

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                      • #12
                        I've seen a bumper sticker that says,

                        "My honor student can kick your moronic student's ass."

                        Or something like that.

                        I hate "Quit honking, I'm reloading."

                        But, yeah, I'd put a "All real men are physicists." bumper sticker on my car.

                        Of course, I drive a 1987 Honda Civic.
                        My adopted fan is dogfish

                        . . . . . . . . . . .
                        . Post Your Artwork .
                        . . . . . . . . . . .

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by buckland
                          Talk about a bumper sticker with a mission!

                          Now, cell phones... that's an entire new topic! Wanna start a new thread, m'dear?

                          While I'm not a fan of bans in general, perhaps an additional test should be required whenever you go to renew your DL... leading up to "cell phone approved" imprinted somewhere on your DL?

                          The essence of the test would be to prove that you can multi-task:

                          1. Can you chew gum and WALK at the same time, Wrigley’s Spearmint Breath??

                          (Well, wait, even EYE cannot do that…)

                          If, while on the cell phone in traffic:

                          1. You are talking on the cell with your husband. A disagreement emerges. Do you suddenly slam on your brakes? (Automatic failure, skid-marks breath)

                          2. You are a biz man, and you just learned (on the cell of course) that your main client is dropping you. So you:

                          a. suddenly change lanes
                          b. turn into a rage driver

                          3. You are a soccer mom, trying to coordinate with your daughter’s schedule. Whenever she breaks into some gibberish, or the cell connection gets fuzzy, you slow down, confusing the driver behind you as well. [See test question 1. above.] Automatic failure.

                          It’s late, this was poorly written, and I need to get some sleep. Add to the list if you wish….

                          ub

                          Yesterday, had some girl on her phone make a left hand turn right in front of me. If not for some good reaction times, she probably would still be in the hospital.

                          Well, if anyone would key your truck for sporting a Broncos and CU sticker...man, that should be a federal crime, punishable across state borders!
                          Only time anything bad has happened is when I went up to CSU to see some friends, and it got some eggs on it.



                          On topic, my roomate just got a sticker for his computer that say "My Corgi is smarter than your honor student". We have a corgi, that, I do believe makes better choices than some people (see girl previously mentioned.)
                          sigpic

                          I think Ben Tate will be the best back taken in the 2010 draft. (5/3/10)
                          SportsXPicks, check out the Rants and Opinions section

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I have two stickers on my car. A University of Wyoming one and a Caution: Rockies Fan In Area sticker.

                            I saw one the other day on this nasty old truck with a creepy dude driving it saying: I love explosives.
                            ...capture it...remember it...

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                            • #15
                              My personal favorite: 10 million sperm and you were the fastest?



                              Rest in Peace, Darrent and Damien. You will be forever in our thoughts

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