"Show him your card!"
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I killed the bull...
OMG!! Thats CRAZY!! Youre very lucky too..
What the heck were the EPA knuckleheads thinking?
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i hope he ate dirt, lots of it.......( 2 kdladys original post)Leave a comment:
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ohhhhh...sorry...Originally posted by Davii
so it was a few years back...we were living on a different farm then, and the EPA was coming to inspect the lagoon and all of the fertelizer tanks blah blah blah!!!
They of course can be real jerks about everything but a calf was sick, so Brian took it to the vet, and his boss was at the school for something with one of his kids...so that left me!!! All Brian said was...if he shows up...tell him to start without us, but to please not look at Knobb Hill till they got back to go with him!!!
Well when he got there he was with a supervisor!!! I introduced myself and appologized for any inconvienince...and told them that they could get started but they should wait for one of the guys to get back to inspect Knobb Hill!!!
Of course the first place they want to go is Knobb Hill because they are just sure that they are up there hiding something and they MUST find out what it is!!!
I tried to explain to them that our mean bull was in that pasture and that they probably wanted to pin him up so no one got hurt and they just didn't have time to do so...but they wouldn't listen to a "dumb manager from Applebee's"!!!
To top it all off it had rained the night before and the fastest route to that field was dirt!!! They took off, and I went ahead and called Brian...he said to get the 4230 out and follow them but to be careful because that road was in bad shape!!!
So...the manager from Applebee's in her uniform...late for work...got in the tractor and followed!!! They made it less than a half a mile on the dirt road before they got stuck...so I got out of the tractor with the chains and of course they were unhappy about it...but I pulled them out!!! I told them I thought it would be best if they just waited for Brian or his boss...but they insisted on going...so I said...at least let me go with you and take my way to get there!!!
So here I am...all muddy...late for work, crabby and sitting between a couple of jerks in a truck!!! We get to the pasture and they put down the gate and drive through...I ask if they were going to put the gate back up and they asked why...I said so the cows don't get out...they let me out and I put it up...but they took off...without me...
I knew that wasn't a good sign and I had no idea in the pasture where the cows were...but I didn't want them to get hurt...so I called Brian again and he said his boss was on his way and would be there any minute...so I started running after them!!!
When I got to the top of the one part of the pasture...there they were...inspecting the old well, and not paying attention to anything...and looking at them...pissed as all get out was BelleBoy...the meanest jerk of a bull I had ever seen!!!
He started to paw at the ground and I started to cuss in my inside voice...do I call 911 now...do I try to distract the stupid bull...wait...I don't want to die...I got to their truck and of course they didn't leave the keys in it...that would have made things simple...so I slammed the door...they turned to look and BelleBoy freaked...they saw him and they freaked!!! He pawed more and started to bellar!!!
I slammed the door on the truck again...he heard it and turned his head!!! I got out an jumpped up and down and tried to get his attention!!! Feeling a bit like a about to get fired rodeo clown...he started to paw at me I yelled...if he comes after me...get in the truck as fast as you can!!!
They looked like they were about to **** themselves and I was wondering what I would do...I knew that bull could jump a fence...so could he jump into the back of a pickup if he was pissed enough...
Well...one way to find out!!! I climbed in the back after grabbing a few rocks...stupid thing just pawed some more...so...I threw a rock at it...why not right!??!
I suck at throwing but by some grace of God...it hit him right between the eyes...that did it...he charged...I prayed...wondering if he hit the truck if I would fly out and then what...or if he tried to jump in what I was going to do (it was a rush...I'm not gonna lie about it) meanwhile dumb and dumber got into the same side of the pickup and shut the door...we were about to go for one heck of a ride!!!
The bull hit the truck 10 times while I was sitting on in the corner of the bed of the truck...then...he just fell down...
I killed the bull...
When Brian and his boss found us...they couldn't even talk...they looked at the truck...then at me...then at them...then at the pee spots on the front of their pants...
And then they laughed!!!
I told them all that I needed to get home...shower and get dressed so I would not get fired...
They left and didn't even inspect the one thing that was really an issue, but said that they had!!!
And that kids...is the rest of the story!!!
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Ahhahahahaha...that reminds me of a story!!! Too bad it is true and not just a joke!!! LOLOriginally posted by KCLadyFanLeave a comment:
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Good Joke
A cocky Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm
and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your
farm."
The old farmer said "OK, but don't go in that field right over
yonder."
The Agriculture representative said, "Mister, I have the authority
of the U. S. Government with me. See this card? This card means I am
allowed to go WHEREVER I wish on any agricultural land....no questions asked
or
answered. Do you understand?"
The farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later,
he heard loud screams and saw the Department of Agriculture Rep running for
the
fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The
bull was madder than a nest full of hornets.
The bull was gaining on the Rep at
every step.
The Old farmer called out, "Show him your card!!
SHOW HIM YOUR CARD!"
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