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  • Things that make you go hmmmm....

    thought these were funny....wanted to share them...

    Why, Why, Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    And my FAVORITE......
    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
    sigpic

  • #2
    Originally posted by broncos_mtnman
    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
    :dance: It's me!!!


    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by broncos_mtnman
      thought these were funny....wanted to share them...
      Pretty *funny* stuff, mtnman!
      Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

      Comment


      • #4
        Haven't seen you around much mtnman.

        Some of those made me bust out. Thanks for the grins.

        The mattress one could be used for cars and trucks too.

        The bugs in the light fixture one made me chuckle cuz we have found scorpions in ours. AND they were still ALIVE!
        :usa: *** God Bless Our Military Men And Women*** :usa:

        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          Those are pretty funny
          Rest in Peace, Darrent and Damien. You will be forever in our thoughts

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by shanniefly
            :dance: It's me!!!
            Wellll, we all GNU dat, silly! When traveling in 4-sies, may you always be in the group, sweetie!
            Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by broncos_mtnman
              thought these were funny....wanted to share them...

              Why, Why, Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

              Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

              Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

              Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

              Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

              Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

              Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

              If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

              Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

              Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

              Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

              Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

              Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

              How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

              When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

              Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

              In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

              How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

              And my FAVORITE......
              The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
              Thats me

              Comment


              • #8
                why are there 10 hotdogs in a package and only 8 buns in a package???
                [URL=http://s93.photobucket.com/user/Saddletramp69/media/asdf.jpg.html][/URL
                Adopted player Lindsey

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Saddletramp
                  why are there 10 hotdogs in a package and only 8 buns in a package???
                  That's a good one, cowpoker. Racked my brain, and all I could come with is this:

                  1. The bun bakers don't really give a rip what the hot dog folks do.

                  2. The hot dog makers either don't give a damn, or figger someone (or the dog) is gonna eat two of 'em, without the bun. (Unless it's an Oscar Meyer weiner... even my late dawg would not touch one of THEM food-addative delivery devices!)

                  3. Same reason why Gates and company foists Vista upon us, when we were just gettin' used to XP. It's all about the money? [Note to Mr. Gates: Why don't you just _improve_ what the hell we already HAVE before reinventing the wheel?? I mean, sumpin' like having a master default button, where you get to go back to where you were in the BEGINNING, instead of making us fumble around in vain attempts at such things as TURNING OFF THE FRIGGIN' AUTOMATIC NUMBERING, IN WORD! Sh*t, man, a default should be a DEFAULT!!! If I want some software idiot to DO MY THINKING FOR ME, I'll just elect that feature, BOVINE BREATH FOR BRAINS!!!. I want a clean slate. I remember the age of typewriters. And TYPEWRITERS DID NOT "THINK!"]

                  Sorry. I rambled.

                  signed,

                  Anything but Hal






                  I'm....feeling....better....now.....dave.....
                  Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    why do we go to McDonald's, order an Double Quaterpounder (with cheese), super sized fries and a diet drink?????????????
                    [URL=http://s93.photobucket.com/user/Saddletramp69/media/asdf.jpg.html][/URL
                    Adopted player Lindsey

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      "Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath
                      you use the bubbles are always white?"


                      Ladies! We've been getting 'ripped-off' royally!
                      "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

                      John Stuart Mill (Look him up )

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by buckland
                        That's a good one, cowpoker. Racked my brain, and all I could come with is this:

                        1. The bun bakers don't really give a rip what the hot dog folks do.

                        2. The hot dog makers either don't give a damn, or figger someone (or the dog) is gonna eat two of 'em, without the bun. (Unless it's an Oscar Meyer weiner... even my late dawg would not touch one of THEM food-addative delivery devices!)

                        3. Same reason why Gates and company foists Vista upon us, when we were just gettin' used to XP. It's all about the money? [Note to Mr. Gates: Why don't you just _improve_ what the hell we already HAVE before reinventing the wheel?? I mean, sumpin' like having a master default button, where you get to go back to where you were in the BEGINNING, instead of making us fumble around in vain attempts at such things as TURNING OFF THE FRIGGIN' AUTOMATIC NUMBERING, IN WORD! Sh*t, man, a default should be a DEFAULT!!! If I want some software idiot to DO MY THINKING FOR ME, I'll just elect that feature, BOVINE BREATH FOR BRAINS!!!. I want a clean slate. I remember the age of typewriters. And TYPEWRITERS DID NOT "THINK!"]

                        Sorry. I rambled.

                        signed,

                        Anything but Hal






                        I'm....feeling....better....now.....dave.....
                        dont rack your brain Shirley

                        at your age you will forget where ya put it.
                        [URL=http://s93.photobucket.com/user/Saddletramp69/media/asdf.jpg.html][/URL
                        Adopted player Lindsey

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Saddletramp
                          why do we go to McDonald's, order an Double Quaterpounder (with cheese), super sized fries and a diet drink?????????????
                          And to add to that, why do you never see a diet drink in the hands of a skinny person???
                          Life, for me, has been an ongoing education. When Graduation Day arrives, my diploma will be my death certificate.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway???


                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by broncos_mtnman
                              thought these were funny....wanted to share them...

                              Why, Why, Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

                              I work for US Bank and almost answered that
                              sigpic

                              Comment

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