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Only the Strongest Survive

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  • Only the Strongest Survive

    I thought I'd share this cause it had me dieing of laughter

    http://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cg...fthefittestMMs


    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
    continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a
    species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

    Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
    pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and
    splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one
    immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
    tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I
    have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive
    long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern
    candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is
    misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost
    invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare
    occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the
    species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
    strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat
    this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it
    to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ
    17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use
    this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon
    for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this
    "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand
    tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the
    True Champion.

    There can be only one.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Schroedog
    I thought I'd share this cause it had me dieing of laughter

    http://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cg...fthefittestMMs


    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
    continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a
    species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

    Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
    pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and
    splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one
    immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
    tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I
    have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive
    long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern
    candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is
    misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost
    invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare
    occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the
    species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
    strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat
    this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it
    to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ
    17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use
    this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon
    for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this
    "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand
    tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the
    True Champion.

    There can be only one.
    that was good.

    im going to do that next time i get m&m's.
    white sox are done, broncos looking strong, lakers gonna win it all again.

    Originally posted by raylewis52
    you guys are the saddest team in nfl right now! 8-8 will win the west,.thats just a joke. there will be 6-8 teams sitting home with better records,
    smart fans, eh?

    Comment


    • #3
      I hate to say it, but I might give it a go as well.

      Comment


      • #4
        today i threw a cherry as high as i possibly can.... really high and cought it with my mouf yes i said mouf.... YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT.... lol it was fun... i catch those like 70% of the times..... mms hurt when they hit your tooth............. so i have given up on those.... LP ROCKS YOU.....


        aqua teens is on.

        Comment


        • #5
          lmao that nice

          BATTLE ROYAL!


          I still miss the blue background.

          Comment


          • #6
            lol that was awesome
            I actually loled.
            sigpic

            Comment


            • #7
              this is the funniest thing ive read in a long time
              im gonna try this when im in a room with a croud of people
              i could take bets off of this and it only will cost me 1 bag of m&m's
              let the profits come in

              place your bets now who will be the champion
              sigpic

              sig by B4B6..

              Comment

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