Ice Breakers

[Archimedes Owl]

I was just thinking about this and it made me curious. A lot of people like to engage in small talk to start a conversation off. They are looking for a way to break the ice and just get some conversation going and to break an awkward silence.

Personally, I tend not to use ice breakers as small talk. I simply introduce myself and then I'll ask somebody about themselves.

Sometimes I like to ask somebody what they do for a living, but often times I like to ask people, "What do you stand for?" or "What are your passions?" or "If I were to know only one thing about you, what would you have it be?"

I love these questions because they take people aback. Usually people pause and look at you. You can tell that they have to really think about how to respond to a question like that.

Sometimes they will just not know how to respond. In that situation, you just have to say, "Don't think about it too much. Just tell me something about yourself. What do you do for a living? What are your hobbies? What are your talents?"

So, what are your icebreakers? How do you start conversations with people that you don't know? What do you like to talk about?

[Kapaibro]

For me, being from another country, and on the other side of the world, a simple 'So where are you from?' does the trick.

[Archimedes Owl]

"You know, I respect Dr. Seuss, but I don't think that I could really eat green eggs and ham. I don't care how good it tastes."

"So, what is your opinion about drinking bourbon with a silly straw? Personally, I think that if you're going to drink bourbon, you might as well use a silly straw."

I like those types of off the wall icebreakers, too.

[Kapaibro]

"You know, I respect Dr. Seuss, but I don't think that I could really eat green eggs and ham. I don't care how good it tastes."

"So, what is your opinion about drinking bourbon with a silly straw? Personally, I think that if you're going to drink bourbon, you might as well use a silly straw."

I like those types of off the wall icebreakers, too.

I like babies, I just can't eat a whole one for breakfast.

[His Wife]

Personally, if a man introduced himself straight up with me and followed it with a lot of questions that I feel are reserved for people I know and trust (or at a safe distance), I'd say...."You get a little personal a little too soon".

Introductions are a funny thing, Owl, for even though I understand you are intelligent and just trying to skip over a few steps, the 'warm-up period' in getting to know someone through 'small talk' is an essential part of building a relationship. I know a couple of women who would say "None of your business, I just don't know you at all to be telling you what I do for a living". That is safer to use man to man, not man to woman. Unless of course THEY are the ones bringing it up, which I'd use as my 'gage' on where the conversation should go.

There are but few exceptions to this.... Once in awhile we meet people and click instantly and become very fast and good friends. Those are diamonds in the rough. Most of the time, there's just this period in there where the warm up is necessary. General questions: Oh, you have children? What are their ages (never ask their names or where they attend school, etc unless offered). I think for women.....we have been trained a long time now not to set ourselves up for possible perverts (and there are plenty out amongst us these days).

Never get personal too soon. It's often a sign of 'controlling' issues for men if they dive into your personal thoughts and feelings about various issues and want details that must be earned, not just a given. That's my take on it, UNLESS the woman gives permission to you by her own questions she asks of you! It could also be a sign of someone being way too serious. Personally, I want to know this person has the ability to do the small talk, as to me, it's another social level they feel comfortable with and can pull it out to use it on a moment's notice in various situations (should they be in my company----i.e., work party).

I would feel the same with most women asking me personal questions too soon or trying to come across overly familiar with me and we have no relationship yet. Small talk serves an important time in warming up and slowly getting to know someone.

Plus, Owl....you never want to judge a person's hesitation to answer a question as a lack of intelligence, when it could simply be protectiveness for themselves and their own privacy.

I think when someone is 140 IQ and up, this becomes harder for them to understand, because they just think 'logically' vs 'vulnerability'.

[saltybuggah]

i tend to change up small talk depending on where im at.

i use the environment around me as a stage for entertainment.

i have no particular sentances or lines i use it usually just comes natural and unrehearsed. thats the best imo way to just talk with someone. if you really want to talk with good people be yourself and if they dont like it so be it.

[saltybuggah]

I think when someone is 140 IQ and up, this becomes harder for them to understand, because they just think 'logically' vs 'vulnerability'.

see im the exact opposite dumb as a rock, jk maybe a boulder, but here to make people smile.

[KCLadyFan]

Yea what HW said........
it was all good!

[His Wife]

i tend to change up small talk depending on where im at.

i use the environment around me as a stage for entertainment.

i have no particular sentances or lines i use it usually just comes natural and unrehearsed. thats the best imo way to just talk with someone. if you really want to talk with good people be yourself and if they dont like it so be it.

I would equal this to the ability to be spontaneous, which is important and a lot of fun! Using things around you (i.e., your environment) is intelligent and safe for the person you are getting to know. If you can mix a little humor into it, without it being crude or personal, all the better. Women love humor.

[KCLadyFan]

I would equal this to the ability to be spontaneous, which is important and a lot of fun! Using things around you (i.e., your environment) is intelligent and safe for the person you are getting to know. If you can mix a little humor into it, without it being crude or personal, all the better.

Women love humor.

I agree with you on this....a little bit of good clean humor is
always good.I have a hard time talking to people at first...
(yes HW thats the truth) so it always puts me at ease if
someone can make ma laugh!

[His Wife]

I agree with you on this....a little bit of good clean humor is
always good.I have a hard time talking to people at first...
(yes HW thats the truth) so it always puts me at ease if
someone can make ma laugh!

Me too, KCLady. I'm slow to warm up, but that often depends on whom I'm speaking with. If they have a sense of humor, I can follow along very quickly and it gets comfortable very quickly. Soon that oddity is gone when you are laughing with someone.

[anton...]

a simple "hi, whats your name??"


has never failed yet...

[Kapaibro]

I was at an Air Force officers party (clean cut hot guys in uniform), when a guy turned up bearing a glass of champagne for me, and said "Hi, my name's Alix, with an 'I'!"

I was well impressed with the glass of bubbles(he'd noticed what I was drinking), and made the effort to go up to a stranger and just say hi. We dated for a few months, so it worked for him.

[Dream]

Ice breakers are something we do at college meetings, if you're part of a group or an association, like Hall Government for example - and as Hall Government Advisor, my goal was just to make Ice Breakers college kids could relate to. Something funny, something fun, like "How many five year olds could you fight at once?" - One of my finer questions asked.

[Saddletramp]

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