Chuck Norris: Immortal

[gindaorshaman]

And: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

[Hawgdriver]

I was ignorant of the Chuck Norris facts for a long time. The first time I saw them was the funniest. After a while, it got old. But I'll never forget the first time...and since I'm kind of a math geek, I appreciated it:

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When I read it, I wasn't expecting it--it was out of the blue, and that made it funnier.

[antiwup]

chuck norris can kill a man on the other side of the planet. all he has to do is think about that person.
some where in france, a frenchy was walking through paris, suddenly his face gets caved in and hes thrown into the eiffel tower.
ha chuck norris just round housed him from texas!!!

[16milehigh87]

I still can't stand Chuck Norris never have liked him.

[JWinn]

Hmm, well I hope he's doing better. Chuck Norris is the man, and a good person. I wonder if I've seen that video.


I just watched his movie from 1992 called "Sidekicks"... great movie.

It's the current commercial for that home gym he sells with Christy Brinkley.

The REAL reason to watch that. lol.

[Peerless]

Yeah, I am serious.

I like Chuck, but I just think he looks sick in that commercial. Even for 67. They show clips of previous ads, and he just looks different. Maybe because he shaved the beard.


Never did get into Walker TR.

Hmm, well I hope he's doing better. Chuck Norris is the man, and a good person. I wonder if I've seen that video.


I just watched his movie from 1992 called "Sidekicks"... great movie.

[JWinn]

What? Are you serious?

I'm a huge Chuck Norris fan. These jokes are fun and all, but I grew up watching Walker Texas Ranger. He's kind of like my hero.

I hope he's not sick... he is 67 years old.

"Days are numberd"

It's hard to see sarcasm online... crosses fingers.

Yeah, I am serious.

I like Chuck, but I just think he looks sick in that commercial. Even for 67. They show clips of previous ads, and he just looks different. Maybe because he shaved the beard.


Never did get into Walker TR.

[Peerless]

He might want to cry on himself then. Possibly.


Have you seen his latest commercial for that home gym he sells?

He looks sick to me. His face looks empty, very thin, and his voice is starting to sound female.


Sorry, but I think his days are numbered now. I like Chuck, but I think he sick.

Physically.........He just doesnt look well to me.

What? Are you serious?

I'm a huge Chuck Norris fan. These jokes are fun and all, but I grew up watching Walker Texas Ranger. He's kind of like my hero.

I hope he's not sick... he is 67 years old.

"Days are numberd"

It's hard to see sarcasm online... crosses fingers.

[anton...]

chuck norris doesnt get wet, water gets chuck norris...

[JWinn]

Its been known that chuck norris tears cures cancer, too bad he doesn't cry...

He might want to cry on himself then. Possibly.


Have you seen his latest commercial for that home gym he sells?

He looks sick to me. His face looks empty, very thin, and his voice is starting to sound female.


Sorry, but I think his days are numbered now. I like Chuck, but I think he sick.

Physically.........He just doesnt look well to me.

[TheJackal]

BUMP. It would be disrespectful to THE Chuck Norris if we let this die. So...

[TheJackal]

Very good stuff

Chuck Norris is awsome

[SS #38]

the man who discovered fire met chuck norris once. he never started a fire again because he got a roundhouse kick to the FACE!!

one time someone looked into his eyes and chuck norris spontaneously combusted him.
no one is allowed to talk to him ; the only thing you are allowed to do in his presence is bow, kiss his ring, bow again, and leave.

chuck norris flosses his teeth with steel wool.
chuck norris uses the spear of destiny as a letter opener.

one time chuck norris read a news piece about some guy who was given the death penalty for treason. treason is especially offensive to chuck because he embodies everything that is, was, or even will be american. so when chuck read about this traitor, he killed himself, went to hell and ripped the guys face off and uses it as a loincloth to this day. chuck then resurrected himself, went to lunch, and paid with exact change.

chuck norris eats rocks and sh*ts lightning bolts

one time chuck was walking around in the forest, looking for hippies to use as fire wood, when a wild boar suddenly crossed his path. big mistake. chuck lifted the boar into the air with his mind, spun him around, and digested him telekinetically. and chuck wasnt even hungry.

"superman once challenged chuck to a sack race. chuck norris packed his sack with 10 ton weights than beat superman on the round the world race, when superman went to shake his hand he was met with a roundhouse to the face. thatll teach him to ever challenge chuck!! " i made that one up myself!

Very good stuff

[antiwup]

the man who discovered fire met chuck norris once. he never started a fire again because he got a roundhouse kick to the FACE!!

one time someone looked into his eyes and chuck norris spontaneously combusted him.
no one is allowed to talk to him ; the only thing you are allowed to do in his presence is bow, kiss his ring, bow again, and leave.

chuck norris flosses his teeth with steel wool.
chuck norris uses the spear of destiny as a letter opener.

one time chuck norris read a news piece about some guy who was given the death penalty for treason. treason is especially offensive to chuck because he embodies everything that is, was, or even will be american. so when chuck read about this traitor, he killed himself, went to hell and ripped the guys face off and uses it as a loincloth to this day. chuck then resurrected himself, went to lunch, and paid with exact change.

chuck norris eats rocks and sh*ts lightning bolts

one time chuck was walking around in the forest, looking for hippies to use as fire wood, when a wild boar suddenly crossed his path. big mistake. chuck lifted the boar into the air with his mind, spun him around, and digested him telekinetically. and chuck wasnt even hungry.

"superman once challenged chuck to a sack race. chuck norris packed his sack with 10 ton weights than beat superman on the round the world race, when superman went to shake his hand he was met with a roundhouse to the face. thatll teach him to ever challenge chuck!! " i made that one up myself!

[darrent/hero]

Chuck Norris has nothing on Jackie Chan.

UnderArmour, run!!!!


if someone knocks on your door, dont answer it!

you are doomed my freind, doomed.