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  • #16
    Originally posted by lynchembaby View Post
    ive been thru the gauntlet
    dated girls without kids for the most part and wasnt very happy with them
    i always liked kids (probably b/c im a big 32 year old kid myself) and the girls i dated i later found out that they would rather not have kids or as many as id like to have. when i go out to family events (trust me these are few and far between) i usually end up hanging with the kids then the adults cuz they are more fun to be around with.

    just telling ya some guys do enjoy kids and women with kids out there

    my current gf and i have a beautiful daughter together and she has 2 other kids from a previous marriage.

    two boys (not just one but two) and i care for em like they are my own.

    some guys are just into people for one thing and one thing only but they other guys (myself) look past all that and want to get to be with the person because of who they are. i guess it a growing up thing or what not but im 32 and a kid at heart. i dont think ill ever grow up. if i could live in never never land i would

    just letting ya know from a 32 year old male point of view, some people do look past a female's kids they have with someone else and will treat them like they are their own.

    That's great. BTW- we're about the same age!
    I find myself doing the same thing at family events...except for this last one...which I hosted...I had to go and talk to the adults & such.

    Originally posted by SeeingRed View Post
    I think this thread may be a bit out of line, especially since you're passing judgement on probably more than a few on this board (myself included), but I felt compelled to respond anyway.

    For starters, you're calling an awful lot of men cowards for things they may do in circumstances that you don't understand. Secondly, I have seen some women do some pretty skeezy **** that doesn't even compare to the things most men do.
    SeeingRed...I've been there and done that with the extra marital thing...on both sides. I'm not perfect & I can admit that. No good can ever become of this type of thing. I used to have opinions about it in quite the opposite direction, but I've seen too much pain caused by the whole deal & it can turn the best person into a guilt-riddled nut case. It made me feel like a piece of trash.

    It hurts everyone.

    If you are interested in somebody & you aren't happy with what you have going on in your current relationship...either fix the relationship or end it & go after the other person. It's a hard pill to swallow, but far less worse than hurting other people with betrayal and living with something you've done wrong for the rest of your life with the risk of being found out one day and screwing up friendships, your reputation, etc.

    And yes...women do the same...sometimes if not worse.

    I know lots and lots of wonderful men (none of which I could ever have for one damned reason or another) and I do have lots of faith in guys.

    I just have a really BAD screening process, lol.

    I'm not calling anyone out here (ok...just one...but not you, lol).

    If you've been there & done that & learned from it...good deal.
    I don't know could I judge you?

    However, there are guys out there that just won't leave well enough alone.
    They don't learn from their mistakes. They do the same thing over and over again. Cheating is something that is habitual to them. Does that mean this person is a bad person? No way, it just means that they have problems.

    Now that I've said that....time for a snack.
    COPYWRITED MATERIAL Copyright © 1975 by Dr Velcro


    • #17
      Originally posted by lynchembaby View Post
      i dont really find it more of a passing judgement on board members here

      i find it as a person who was with someone for a long period of time (10 years) now finding the world a lil different then before.

      most people go thru this after a break up and a woman with a kid now re-entering the dating scene. it a lil bit different from before.

      men and women are both subject to being treated like dirt or meat.

      i dont think fred made this thread to point fingers at posters here, just a thread about what she now see's going on that she didnt before
      There's a difference between getting asked out and getting hit on.
      I get hit on often.
      It does make you feel cheap or like a piece of meat.
      I guess I just put off that VIBE, lol?

      I don't know, I guess I just approach things a little differently when it comes down to dating. You get to know the person first, then if you like what you ask them out.

      Since the separation, I've been hit on a few times & asked out once.
      I turned down all of the offers. Just haven't been in the mood.
      With school starting, my band, talking to my friends...I stay pretty busy.

      Sleeping alone, though. That kind of bothers me.
      It's nice not to get dry humped at 3am.
      I don't have to share the covers.
      I can list a ton of things that are good about the split.
      I'll get used to sleeping alone. I used to love it.
      COPYWRITED MATERIAL Copyright © 1975 by Dr Velcro


      • #18
        It sounds like somebody is playing mind games with you...just ignore them. Or tell them how you feel directly. You are playing mind games, too, it seems.

        Sorry if that's not the answer you're looking for...I just calls 'em as I sees 'em. Good luck.


        • #19
          Red got it right in her thread.

          Men are pigs.

          Just the truth.........


          • #20
            Originally posted by Hawgdriver View Post
            It sounds like somebody is playing mind games with you...just ignore them. Or tell them how you feel directly. You are playing mind games, too, it seems.

            Sorry if that's not the answer you're looking for...I just calls 'em as I sees 'em. Good luck.
            Just a few 'educated guesses' based on some things in Fred's post, and from knowing her...

            It's not her who's being played with, it's one of her friends. And it's been going on for quite a while, hence the thread. Ignoring has not worked. Telling them directly hasn't worked a whole lot either.

            Here's how Fred works, as do a lot of us, myself included. We stand by and put up with a lot of things when they're done to us. It's when they're done to our friends that we're truly offended/incensed. And, most often, we'll take action on the part of that friend much sooner than we would have done for ourself...


            • #21
              Originally posted by Fred the Bunny View Post
              I'd wait a lot longer than a week, lol...not tlaking about your comment
              Some guys turn it into a conquest & can hold out for awhile...while they play with about three other girls at the same time. It's a game to them now...

              Not being sexist...I know that women do this too now a days.

              I'm on the outside looking in.
              I see my friends & what they go through.
              Really discouraging.

              Then I see my guy friends...who are appearantly nothing like the other guys in this world...maybe they are but since I'm in a different catagory and can't see it.
              Yeah I didn't really mean a week. I was more just trying to say, don't sleep with a guy the same night you meet him. That is when you get some of the worst guys. Other than that, the only way to make sure you get a good guy is hooking up with a friend that you know will be good for you.

              Really there is no way of knowing though. You just have to be open and try not to let the bad ones discourage you because there are many good ones out there.

              If most of this is just because you see your friends having troubles dating, it shouldn't discourage you. Some women just seem to go after that type of guy and then wonder why they hooking up with them between each one. Not really sure why that is but it actually annoys me to hear these types of people complain after they have this problem with multiple people and still don't learn. Then again, maybe these guys are just better than I think at covering up who they really are when picking up women.


              • #22
                I've been divorced years ago and it's painful, yes, but I always held onto the fact that I too was a part in making poor decisions that led to that divorce, and did not want to jump on the band wagon as a 'divorcee' who boxed all men up in a nice, neat little package where I could paint them with the same brush.

                I had to ask myself "Why did I choose this man to marry?" In the end, I chose him as well, so I had to take personal responsibility for that to keep the whole thing in perspective, and to 'learn' from my experience. Also, in the end, I had a child who was conceived from that marriage. I wouldn't change one thing that occurred, otherwise, I wouldn't have this beautiful child who's a part of my life.

                As a new single lady, I avoided all bitter-pill people on divorce! Rule #1. I didn't want to hear their stories or all their pain, I had enough of my own and needed to keep clarity to work through my own issues, let alone take on a slew of other's. Second, it was depressing, and I had been unhappy long enough, it was time to open my mind, look at the world with a new vision, and move on (mend, heal, and move ahead). It's important not to get stuck in a rut of thinking.

                As a newly dating person, I avoided all men who were bitter-pills as well. Who the heck needs to take on someone else's anger and it's always a sign they are not over it yet, therefore, putting me into the picture would just mess up their lives more as well.

                I spent a lot of time by myself and with my child, and I loved that period of time. It was a HUGE time for me to grow and mature, without another's influence. Yes, it can be painful, but that old saying still holds a lot of truth of 'no pain, no gain'. Spent more time surrounding myself with 'healthy' people, and less time/no time with those who chose to keep themselves in a negative rut of thinking way too long, as some folks don't care to face things, make peace with it, and move on.

                And the vicious women out there! They are plentiful. When women get vicious, the entire community has to know about it, it seems like, and feel their pain. So men don't have a market on this alone. There are a lot of women I wouldn't want to spend time with, just by how I have seen them treat men----the bitter-pill I mentioned before.

                I had no issues with men when dating again, except not to expect too much from me on any level, because I wasn't in the right frame of mind to think 'seriously' about another yet. I was extremely careful on dating, as I didn't want my child to have to date with me. She was my jewel and I had to keep all the gunk away from her (filtering process). Only one date met her, and I married him.

                You have to continue looking at men as 'individuals' and not boxing them up as one large man who's an idiot. I met a few men who felt very deep and great pain from their own divorces, and my heart went out to them, but again, concentrate on YOU, no one else. Get to a better place - and there is a better place with lots of beauty, hope, love, and so on. It's your time now to shine, make it a positive one, and don't repeat past mistakes you have made yourself. That's the ONLY WAY to make your future brighter.
                "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

                John Stuart Mill (Look him up )


                • #23
                  Originally posted by JWinn View Post
                  Red got it right in her thread.

                  Men are pigs.

                  Just the truth.........
                  Just for clarification J, she is the "Other Red" as not to be confused with me.
                  Originally posted by Soldier96B
                  i also took a crap and it was orange


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by SeeingRed View Post
                    Just for clarification J, she is the "Other Red" as not to be confused with me.
                    That's what YOU think



                    • #25
                      Originally posted by JWinn View Post
                      Red got it right in her thread.

                      Men are pigs.

                      Just the truth.........
                      Not Me! :dance:
                      Last edited by BroncoSexyDaddy; 08-08-2007, 06:18 PM.


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Fred the Bunny View Post
                        Maybe not what you would expect from Fred the Bunny....

                        But some serious posting about relationships.

                        I'm not a big believer in marraige these days.
                        This would make some sense due to the fact I'm coming out of a ten year relationship. I'm happy to report that I'm coming out of my bitter phase and find myself (closer to being) ready to move on. I'm going to file for divorce within a couple of months (insurance and money being the only reason for delay).

                        However, I don't like what I'm seeing in the single world. I've forgotten about some things.

                        I watch as single, beautiful, funny women are often tossed aside as good mates for many a shallow reason....

                        *Discounted because they have a kid (okay..this one is a given...not all men are ready to be dads to a kid who isn't theirs & I can see that). However, these women seem good enough to sleep with, huh? Hmmm...

                        *Discounted because they aren't the picture perfect, model type (ugh...same old same old...I could go on here for awhile too, but who wants to be with a guy who has such high, unrealistic standards anyways? Really?)

                        * Sell themselves short of a good relationship with a good man because they don't believe they are worthy. They settle. They pick men on the mere fact that the guy gives them compiments and shows them attention.

                        I could go on....

                        This makes me sad.
                        I would like to see the women I know (and adore) love themselves enough to slow down & take the time to look for what they truly want in a relationship....never settle for anything less than what they want & deserve.

                        It seems that there is a small percentage of MARRIED men who prey on these types of women. In my opinion? These are the worst forms of life on the planet. They play endless mind games with these women...trying to cure their own boredom and avoiding addressing their lives at home. They are scared, little boys who wouldn't know what a real man was if it smacked them in the head. Real men don't need to stray-out from their wives to find excitement. Good men work hard to fix the issues at home. Real men know that you have to end one relationship before you can start another. What cowards these guys are who stalk and chase a woman while they still have one in their bed at home. They make no mention of their said wives...whether it be on these forums or in real life. Shame on them.

                        Yeah, you know who you are.:hammer:

                        And it makes ME wonder now...

                        Is this what I have to look forward to?
                        If this is the case, then I'd like to retract my application to the single mothers with standards society. I'll fair much better alone...raising my kid.

                        Am I crazy? Are my expectations too high?

                        When it's time for me to venture back out into the dating world...will this be what I have in store for me?

                        Fred… What to say ???

                        I just hope you’ll find a real guy who doesn’t mind loving you and your kid… Personally, when I love a girlie, I don’t look if she has kids or not… I love her or not… With everything she is and everything she has… Now, it’s obvious to become the father of a kid that it’s not yours IMO… The “you’re not my father” rhetoric would be there… But I guess it’s not easy just to be parent… So I wouldn’t care too much about that… The main point should be : do I love this woman so much that I want to live with her? Period.

                        I pray that there are some guys like that still in store for you, sweet bunnie…

                        … Or I’ll have to clone myself so often…

                        Take care …

                        PS : Why aren’t you French ??? Hummm… wait… may be it’s because I’m married… … I know… stupid joke… again… LOL
                        Just talk slowly please... I'm French

                        GO BRONCOS

                        (Sig made by Snk16)

                        (thousands of bisous for Thundergirl, une fille du tonnerre !!!)

                        My adoptee-a-fan are THE GIRLIES :kiss:


                        • #27
                          I can honestly say that I will pause for a moment before I ask out a woman with kids. It's not that I won't ask them out because I will. I love kids and plan on having some of my own and would I would have no problem becoming the father to kids that she had prior to meeting me.

                          Still, I'd pause. For one thing, the fact that she has kids means that she's been in another longterm relationship. This means that she might have baggage. It's something of a gamble. I've been in relationships with women who I liked a lot who I still think are awesome people, but their baggage affects how we get along.

                          A woman with kids has less time to spend with you. In the beginning of a relationship, this can be really hindering. You have to work to take care of your kids and you have to take care of your kids. If she already has children, she won't be able to give you the time that she could give if she didn't have children.

                          Those things will weigh against you to most men. But, in the end, that might not be the worst thing. Because any man that is dedicated enough to date you while you have some children, is more likely to be responsible enough to help you raise them. Just make sure that he understands what it entails to date you.

                          My mom was a single parent while I was in elementary school. In the end, she looked for men that treated my brother and I right and she was the one to ask him out. And she is still married. He is a terrific guy.

                          But, be picky. Don't settle at all. Don't be fearful or anything, but just remember that you can find the man that you're looking for. You just have to sieve through the majority of men who aren't worth your time.
                          My adopted fan is dogfish

                          . . . . . . . . . . .
                          . Post Your Artwork .
                          . . . . . . . . . . .


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Fred the Bunny View Post
                            What? Everyone's reading, but nobody's saying anything?

                            I hear crickets!


                            And what would you some of us married guys say?

                            I mean, yes, you're right. There are some bad dudes out there.

                            They suck.

                            I see the opposite being true too for guys with some women, although the singel dad thing is less common (sadly too, as some guys want to se etheir kids everyday but can't....anyway, that's a different rant).

                            In this case, no gnews is good gnews with Gary Gnu. There's not much to argue.

                            Everybody's gotta elevate from the norm...

                            The greatest list of music I don't own on CD :sad:
                            You should check these guys out


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Jared View Post
                              And what would you some of us married guys say?

                              I mean, yes, you're right. There are some bad dudes out there.

                              They suck.

                              I see the opposite being true too for guys with some women, although the singel dad thing is less common (sadly too, as some guys want to se etheir kids everyday but can't....anyway, that's a different rant).

                              In this case, no gnews is good gnews with Gary Gnu. There's not much to argue.
                              Not really. You're right.

                              I've not seen you cross the line with your flirting here on the boards.
                              You make it well known that you are married.

                              That's good. Not a lot of people do.
                              I commend all guys here that make that a known fact.

                              Typical chick rant, is what you may call this...
                              Passing of many I'm sure I will go through on my way out the door of the marraige, lol.

                              However, did I mention just how happy I am in general now?

                              I might stay in this (mental) state for awhile.
                              I like the way it feels not to have expectations.

                              I think I like being a loner.
                              COPYWRITED MATERIAL Copyright © 1975 by Dr Velcro


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Archimedes Owl View Post
                                This means that she might have baggage.
                                Baggage just might be my absolutely favorite word in the whole entire English language.