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  • Fred the Bunny
    replied
    Originally posted by lynchembaby View Post
    i dont really find it more of a passing judgement on board members here

    i find it as a person who was with someone for a long period of time (10 years) now finding the world a lil different then before.

    most people go thru this after a break up and a woman with a kid now re-entering the dating scene. it a lil bit different from before.

    men and women are both subject to being treated like dirt or meat.

    i dont think fred made this thread to point fingers at posters here, just a thread about what she now see's going on that she didnt before
    There's a difference between getting asked out and getting hit on.
    I get hit on often.
    It does make you feel cheap or like a piece of meat.
    I guess I just put off that VIBE, lol?

    I don't know, I guess I just approach things a little differently when it comes down to dating. You get to know the person first, then if you like what you know...you ask them out.

    Since the separation, I've been hit on a few times & asked out once.
    I turned down all of the offers. Just haven't been in the mood.
    With school starting, my band, talking to my friends...I stay pretty busy.

    Sleeping alone, though. That kind of bothers me.
    It's nice not to get dry humped at 3am.
    I don't have to share the covers.
    I can list a ton of things that are good about the split.
    I'll get used to sleeping alone. I used to love it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Fred the Bunny
    replied
    Originally posted by lynchembaby View Post
    fred
    ive been thru the gauntlet
    dated girls without kids for the most part and wasnt very happy with them
    i always liked kids (probably b/c im a big 32 year old kid myself) and the girls i dated i later found out that they would rather not have kids or as many as id like to have. when i go out to family events (trust me these are few and far between) i usually end up hanging with the kids then the adults cuz they are more fun to be around with.

    just telling ya some guys do enjoy kids and women with kids out there


    my current gf and i have a beautiful daughter together and she has 2 other kids from a previous marriage.

    two boys (not just one but two) and i care for em like they are my own.

    some guys are just into people for one thing and one thing only but they other guys (myself) look past all that and want to get to be with the person because of who they are. i guess it a growing up thing or what not but im 32 and a kid at heart. i dont think ill ever grow up. if i could live in never never land i would

    just letting ya know from a 32 year old male point of view, some people do look past a female's kids they have with someone else and will treat them like they are their own.

    That's great. BTW- we're about the same age!
    I find myself doing the same thing at family events...except for this last one...which I hosted...I had to go and talk to the adults & such.

    Originally posted by SeeingRed View Post
    I think this thread may be a bit out of line, especially since you're passing judgement on probably more than a few on this board (myself included), but I felt compelled to respond anyway.


    For starters, you're calling an awful lot of men cowards for things they may do in circumstances that you don't understand. Secondly, I have seen some women do some pretty skeezy **** that doesn't even compare to the things most men do.
    SeeingRed...I've been there and done that with the extra marital thing...on both sides. I'm not perfect & I can admit that. No good can ever become of this type of thing. I used to have opinions about it in quite the opposite direction, but I've seen too much pain caused by the whole deal & it can turn the best person into a guilt-riddled nut case. It made me feel like a piece of trash.

    It hurts everyone.

    If you are interested in somebody & you aren't happy with what you have going on in your current relationship...either fix the relationship or end it & go after the other person. It's a hard pill to swallow, but far less worse than hurting other people with betrayal and living with something you've done wrong for the rest of your life with the risk of being found out one day and screwing up friendships, your reputation, etc.

    And yes...women do the same...sometimes if not worse.

    I know lots and lots of wonderful men (none of which I could ever have for one damned reason or another) and I do have lots of faith in guys.

    I just have a really BAD screening process, lol.

    I'm not calling anyone out here (ok...just one...but not you, lol).

    If you've been there & done that & learned from it...good deal.
    I don't know you...how could I judge you?

    However, there are guys out there that just won't leave well enough alone.
    They don't learn from their mistakes. They do the same thing over and over again. Cheating is something that is habitual to them. Does that mean this person is a bad person? No way, it just means that they have problems.

    Now that I've said that....time for a snack.

    Leave a comment:


  • BroncFanIN
    replied
    As a happliy married woman, I cant offer much in the way of navigating the singles scene. The only thing I can suggest is for you to concentrate on yourself.

    Sit down and write a list of all the things you want to do in this world, and what it takes to get them. Concentrate on you and improving yourself and hanging out with little man.

    The rest will come with time. Give yourself time to heal, time for you. You need to find an identity outside of you being part of a couple.

    You know whats out there, what size the fish are and what they look like. Take a break from it, and the waters and the fish will change.

    And for me, this is what worked. I concentrated on my life and what I wanted to do (go to school, graduate, make decent money and buy a small house and get a cat). I know thats a small goal. but it was my goal.

    Now, granted, all that has changed. I am selling my house, live in a new town, happily married, have a dog, cat and a kid. I do not envy your position.

    Just find you, then find who deserves to be with you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Peanut
    replied
    Originally posted by Mount-n-Groan View Post
    You know you deserve the best, but also know that the best deserves you.

    That is one of the best thoughts that I have heard.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mount-n-Groan
    replied
    Originally posted by Fred the Bunny View Post
    This makes me sad.
    I would like to see the women I know (and adore) love themselves enough to slow down & take the time to look for what they truly want in a relationship....never settle for anything less than what they want & deserve.
    I hope I'm not out of line here (as I hardly know you), but something you said (above) reminded me of several recent conversations I've had with a very good friend of mine, and it's difficult for me to get past the parallels here. He's discovered the "Law of Attraction" and it's turned his life around. I won't bore you with the details, but essentially, the very moment he ceased becoming a skeptic (with relationships, with "The Law", and just in general) many good things started to happen.

    Now, people can believe what they want to believe, and I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't believe in it a little and if I didn't have personal experiences with it - as 'it' was also instrumental in the genesis and development of my own marital relationship. All I can say is... give it a try.

    Some things to practice (taken from Wiki)

    1. Know what one desires and ask the universe for it. (The "universe" is mentioned broadly, stating that it can be anything from God to an unknown source of energy.)
    2. Focus one's thought upon the thing desired with great feeling such as enthusiasm or gratitude.
    3. Feel and behave as if the object of one's desire is on its way.
    4. Be open to receiving it.

    Essentially, stay positive... and yes, know what you desire/deserve and fill yourself and your thoughts with it. I know it's hard sometimes, but remove the skepticism and negativity from what you're seeing and they will become bored with you and leave. This will help to open the door for the more positive people and circumstances to enter your life. Someone is out there waiting for you to do this.

    For what it's worth, FTB - good luck; I wish you the best. Something tells me that you're the type of person that won't be held down for long. You know you deserve the best, but also know that the best deserves you.

    Leave a comment:


  • saltybuggah
    replied
    Originally posted by SeeingRed View Post
    I think this thread may be a bit out of line, especially since you're passing judgement on probably more than a few on this board (myself included), but I felt compelled to respond anyway.


    For starters, you're calling an awful lot of men cowards for things they may do in circumstances that you don't understand. Secondly, I have seen some women do some pretty skeezy **** that doesn't even compare to the things most men do.
    i dont really find it more of a passing judgement on board members here

    i find it as a person who was with someone for a long period of time (10 years) now finding the world a lil different then before.

    most people go thru this after a break up and a woman with a kid now re-entering the dating scene. it a lil bit different from before.

    men and women are both subject to being treated like dirt or meat.

    i dont think fred made this thread to point fingers at posters here, just a thread about what she now see's going on that she didnt before

    Leave a comment:


  • SeeingRed
    replied
    I think this thread may be a bit out of line, especially since you're passing judgement on probably more than a few on this board (myself included), but I felt compelled to respond anyway.


    For starters, you're calling an awful lot of men cowards for things they may do in circumstances that you don't understand. Secondly, I have seen some women do some pretty skeezy **** that doesn't even compare to the things most men do.

    Leave a comment:


  • saltybuggah
    replied
    Originally posted by Fred the Bunny View Post
    What? Everyone's reading, but nobody's saying anything?

    I hear crickets!

    Ugh...
    fred
    ive been thru the gauntlet
    dated girls without kids for the most part and wasnt very happy with them
    i always liked kids (probably b/c im a big 32 year old kid myself) and the girls i dated i later found out that they would rather not have kids or as many as id like to have. when i go out to family events (trust me these are few and far between) i usually end up hanging with the kids then the adults cuz they are more fun to be around with.

    just telling ya some guys do enjoy kids and women with kids out there


    my current gf and i have a beautiful daughter together and she has 2 other kids from a previous marriage.

    two boys (not just one but two) and i care for em like they are my own.

    some guys are just into people for one thing and one thing only but they other guys (myself) look past all that and want to get to be with the person because of who they are. i guess it a growing up thing or what not but im 32 and a kid at heart. i dont think ill ever grow up. if i could live in never never land i would

    just letting ya know from a 32 year old male point of view, some people do look past a female's kids they have with someone else and will treat them like they are their own.

    Leave a comment:


  • Fred the Bunny
    replied
    Originally posted by jhns View Post
    Just stay away from guys trying to act slick at a bar or club and you should be fine. If you get to know a guy a little before anything goes on it would probably help out a lot as well. Not all men are like that but I guess there is a good amount of it going on. The easiest way to tell is talk to them for a while before sleeping with them. You can wait about a week or so because most of these sleezy guys will be gone within a week if you haven't given it up. If they stick around, they probably aren't sleezy. Other than that, I'm not sure how you could tell the guys apart. That might not even work since I don't exactly go picking up on guys.

    Also, if I happen to be picking up on any women and they have read this, just ignore the wait a week thing.
    I'd wait a lot longer than a week, lol...not tlaking about your comment
    Some guys turn it into a conquest & can hold out for awhile...while they play with about three other girls at the same time. It's a game to them now...

    Not being sexist...I know that women do this too now a days.

    I'm on the outside looking in.
    I see my friends & what they go through.
    Really discouraging.

    Then I see my guy friends...who are appearantly nothing like the other guys in this world...maybe they are but since I'm in a different catagory and can't see it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Fred the Bunny
    replied
    Originally posted by redbirdy80 View Post
    They don't dare wade in and try to speak where the wrath of a couple of single mothers is at stake
    Nah...a handfull would say something, but don't know what to say...some don't wanna log in and be seen, a couple hate Fred the Bunny and cold care less, lol & then the rest of them are in the INFRACTION THREAD...which is retarded to begin with.

    Seriously...

    Not a lot to be said that hasn't been said already on this subject.

    Leave a comment:


  • jhns
    replied
    Just stay away from guys trying to act slick at a bar or club and you should be fine. If you get to know a guy a little before anything goes on it would probably help out a lot as well. Not all men are like that but I guess there is a good amount of it going on. The easiest way to tell is talk to them for a while before sleeping with them. You can wait about a week or so because most of these sleezy guys will be gone within a week if you haven't given it up. If they stick around, they probably aren't sleezy. Other than that, I'm not sure how you could tell the guys apart. That might not even work since I don't exactly go picking up on guys.

    Also, if I happen to be picking up on any women and they have read this, just ignore the wait a week thing.

    Leave a comment:


  • redbirdy80
    replied
    Originally posted by Fred the Bunny View Post
    What? Everyone's reading, but nobody's saying anything?

    I hear crickets!

    Ugh...
    They don't dare wade in and try to speak where the wrath of a couple of single mothers is at stake

    Leave a comment:


  • Fred the Bunny
    replied
    What? Everyone's reading, but nobody's saying anything?

    I hear crickets!

    Ugh...

    Leave a comment:


  • redbirdy80
    replied
    Been there and done that with terrible men who can not/do not man up to their responsibilities and take care of business...

    Don't care to do it again.

    Consider that a VERY emotionally expensive lesson learned... not to be repeated.

    Leave a comment:


  • saltybuggah
    replied
    fred there are some good eggs in the world
    a bunnies just gotta keep her chin up

    youve got a special lil man in your heart to not let any idiot into him life

    hope ya continue to keep on the bunny trail and youll soon find the right mr bunny in no time flat

    Leave a comment:

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