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  • #16
    How to avoid a ticket.

    I posted this one in the jokes thread, I always get a kick out of this one, could you imagine yourself trying this?


    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

    Officer: May I see your driver's license?

    Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

    Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

    Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

    Officer: The car is stolen?

    Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

    Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

    Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

    Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

    Driver: Yes, sir.

    Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.

    The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

    Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

    Driver: Sure. Here it is.

    It was valid.

    Captain: Who's car is this?

    Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

    The driver owned the car.

    Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

    Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

    Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

    Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

    Driver: No problem.

    Trunk is opened; no body.

    Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

    Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!
    A book I wrote

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Cutler'stheMan View Post
      I posted this one in the jokes thread, I always get a kick out of this one, could you imagine yourself trying this?


      A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

      Officer: May I see your driver's license?

      Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

      Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

      Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

      Officer: The car is stolen?

      Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

      Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

      Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

      Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

      Driver: Yes, sir.

      Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.

      The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

      Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

      Driver: Sure. Here it is.

      It was valid.

      Captain: Who's car is this?

      Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

      The driver owned the car.

      Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

      Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

      Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

      Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

      Driver: No problem.

      Trunk is opened; no body.

      Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

      Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!

      VERY good one.

      Here's this-

      An older couple are driving through Colorado and get pulled over. The cop askes to see the man's liscence. "What did he say?", said the lady in the passenger seat. "He asked for my liscence", replied the man. The cop looks it over and says- "From Oregon, eh? Here visiting?". The lady says- "What'd he say?". "He asked if we were visiting from Oregon, hun." The cop starts writing out a ticket and says- "Where in Oregon ya'll from?" The man answer- "Ashland." The cop says- "Phew! Worst piece of ass I ever got was in Ashalnd'. The lady asks- "What did he say?" The man replies- "He says he knows you."
      *2011 BCMB Locker Room Division I League Champion*
      *Voted; 2013 & 2015 BCMBA's Scariest Mod*
      *Voted; 2014 BCMBA's Best Avi and Most Friendly*


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