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first part of my song

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  • first part of my song

    its called suicidal temptations part 2 let me know what yall think
    (reminder, i wont do this, i just wrote it)

    the mutual feeling that was never returned
    you have no idea how much my stomache churned
    as i slid the blade across my wrists
    and you have no idea how much it burned
    but the hardest part of this whole ordeal
    was leaving you here with my burdon to deal
    because all i did was drag you down
    i never wished to see you frown
    before i saw that id rather drown
    dont be sad because ive left
    i took it away to keep the pain off your chest

    its an accustic song, so let me know what ya think.
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  • #2
    come on people, i need opinions.
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    • #3
      Originally posted by Zmabe
      come on people, i need opinions.
      accoustic? those sound like lyrics to a marilyn manson song with heavy metal and stuff

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      • #4
        If I ever hear that freakin song
        at the very least Id probably flash
        have a bad fever and a nasty skin rash.
        But thats just my opinion, and I dont have a clue.
        So keep at kid, do what you do...

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        • #5
          Originally posted by horsesense
          If I ever hear that freakin song
          at the very least Id probably flash
          have a bad fever and a nasty skin rash.
          But thats just my opinion, and I dont have a clue.
          So keep at kid, do what you do...
          lmao well he wanted the truth

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          • #6
            Maybe you need to go get help, because from reading the lyrics from that song, I sense that your depressed.
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            • #7
              DB whens the whole ultimate sig thing?
              Blet

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              • #8
                Originally posted by baileyforprez.
                DB whens the whole ultimate sig thing?
                im gunna make the thread as soon as milehighguy is finished with his...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Zmabe
                  its called suicidal temptations part 2 let me know what yall think
                  (reminder, i wont do this, i just wrote it)

                  the mutual feeling that was never returned
                  you have no idea how much my stomache churned
                  as i slid the blade across my wrists
                  and you have no idea how much it burned
                  but the hardest part of this whole ordeal
                  was leaving you here with my burdon to deal
                  because all i did was drag you down
                  i never wished to see you frown
                  before i saw that id rather drown
                  dont be sad because ive left
                  i took it away to keep the pain off your chest

                  its an accustic song, so let me know what ya think.
                  Umm, that's nice and cheery. Very zippidy-doo-dahish.

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                  • #10
                    What's with all the jumping his case? He's a writer. Writing about it is better than doing it, and he's probably not even talking about himself.

                    I wrote a whole series of songs about suicide because a lot of people close to me have tried it and I felt like writing songs about it...as a sort of campaign. That doesn't mean I ever contemplated it.

                    I think it's the beginning of a song that has potential. The best songs are the ones that make you think, and have lots of emotion attached.
                    sigpic

                    DISCLAIMER: MY REVIEWS OFTEN CONTAIN SPOILERS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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                    • #11
                      Nice work ZMABE, writing songs like that to acoustic guitar is nice; because acoustic guitar actually sounds "heavy" -- guitar junkies would get that.

                      Fantastic dude; if you ever produce an album -- let me know and I'll buy.

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                      • #12
                        thanks guys. wer actually gona go record some stuf for jive sometime soon, just gota save up the money for studio time. but there is no way i would ever commit suicide, i may not have been too happy at the time but i was just writin about what came to mind. we already have the guitar chords and sound worked out, we just gota put it on cd now.
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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Lynch Bailey247
                          accoustic? those sound like lyrics to a marilyn manson song with heavy metal and stuff
                          na, we have plenty of metal songs, nothin like manson, i hate that guys stuff.
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