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The Comedy Central Mock Draft!

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  • The Comedy Central Mock Draft!

    So with everyone posting their serious rendition of this years draft, I thought I'd shake it up a bit and include a funny version.

    All the picks come from either Cartoon shows, or other funny shows/ comedians/ movies, often found on CC.

    1. Detroit Lions- Dave Chappelle- Okay, not physically dominating and has been known to disappear so not likely to show up to any minicamp, but we all know Detroit's going to lose, so they need someone to make the experience more enjoyable, why not one of the funniest comedians around?

    2. StL Rams- Thomas Callahagn III- (Chris Farley from Tommy Boy) More of a Rugby player at heart but the guy has moves for a big man like no one's business.

    3. KC- Bobby Bouche- (Adam Sandler, The Water Boy) Clearly the best defensive player in the draft and on top of being able to bring the wood and the laughs, he can definitely bring the hydration.

    4. Sea- Rod Farva- Lets face it, Sea needs help on offense, and they go for the most offensive guy around, officer Rod Farva who is ready to Punchasize anyone's face for free over a Liter o Cola.

    5. Cle- Larry the Cable Guy- A blue collar guy for a blue collar town.

    6. Cin- Tyrone Biggums- (Dave Chappelle, Chappelle's show) Clearly the Bengals are wowed with Biggum's ability to move when motivated. His off the field drug concerns are overlooked by who else, The Bungles.

    7. Oak- Meg Griffin- Kind of an upset pick getting taken before her father, but Oak realizes in their futile position, her ugliness could distract the other team from playing well.

    8. Jac- Ralphie May- Clearly the Jags were hurt by the departure of Marcu Stroud so they need big. And big is what they get. May is pushing 400 pounds easy and could probably lie down and effectively plug up some holes.

    9. GB- Frank Caliendo- They need someone to imitate the man who gushes praise of their Beloved Favre, even though both are retired.

    10. SF- Bluto Blutarsky- (John Belushi, Animal House) Singletary wants old school, why not deliver some old school comdedy. A soothing influence for any locker room. "My advice to you... Start drinking heavily"

    11. Buf- Happy Gilmore- (Adam Sandler, Happy Gilmore) Buffalo is also a hockey town so they nab the tough guy with a hockey back round. Plus he kills clowns, always a good thing.

    12. Den- Matt Stone and Trey Parker- Local products who bring with them the entire ensemble of South Park. Best pick in the draft by far.

    13. Was- Peter Griffin- Clearly a value pick at this point, shown the ability to play at the highest level with his brief stint with the Pats.

    14. NO- John Stewart- Another value pick, and another poor pick from the Saints, he's clearly on the downside of his career. With Bush out of office, how's he going to get his jokes, given that he's reluctant to make fun of Obama?

    15. Hou- Ron White- The Texas Native wth a sharp sense of humor gets nabbed in the middle first.

    16. SD- Ron Burgundy- Who else?

    17. NYJ- Kevin James, a local guy and fan of the team.

    18. Den- Jim Gaffigan- Simply one of the funniest comedians around. "Hooooooooooot Pockets"

    19. TB- Carl Spackler- (Bill Murray, Caddyshack) Have rodents? This guy gets rid of em, plus with many golf courses in the Florida area, Spackler is the perfect fit to help with maintenance.

    20. Detroit- Bill Lumberg- (Gary Cole, Office Space) Yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh.... Ummmmmmmmm.... if you could pretend like this pick had any thought process behind it... that'd be greeeeaat... mmkay?

    21. Phi- Patches Ohoulihan- Philly needs to dogde duck dip dive and dodgetheir way back to prominence and Andy Reid clearly isn't getting it done anymore.

    22. Min- Mclovin- Min gets a steal with the Irish R&B singer

    23. NE- Bill Burr- NE drafts well and they find a hidden gem in Burr. This guy is hilarious, trust me.

    24. Atl- Jeff Foxworthy- Redneck Comedian for a Redneck state.

    25. Mia- Stewie Griffin- A value pick, deviant, maniacle, ambitious, yup sounds like him and Parcells will get along great!

    26. Bal- Jeremy Grey- (Vince Vaughn, Wedding Crashers) Crabcakes and Football!! Thats what Maryland Does!!- its true.

    27. Indy- Peyton Manning- Okay so he isn't in any big movies but his commercials deliver big funny.

    28. Buf- Stiffler (Sean William Scott, American Pie) Buf gives T.O. help at wing man to pick up chicks.

    29. NYG- The Reno Sheriff department- Basically to help clean up the streets of NY and to keep guns away from their WR's legs.

    30. Ten- Demitri Martin- Hey if things go wrong, he can map out the solution on a chart. Or just play his guitar...

    31. Ari- Lloyd Christmas- (Jim Carrey, Dumb and Dumber) Its okay! He's a Limo driver!

    32. Pitt- Bill Cosby- A filthy city gets a clean voice, Cosby's one of the all time greats

    Now for those of you saying that this isnt possible because there are a few dead guys up there and some actors appearmultiple times, I say, its my thread and I'll do what I want.

    I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed making it
    A book I wrote

  • #2
    Very nicely done! Thanks for putting in the effort!

    CPs when I reload....


    • #3
      Actually... we need you to go ahead and fill out the other rounds.

      I want to see where all my favorite comedians go.

      Titus, Eddie Izzard, Bill Engvall....


      • #4
        Originally posted by LordTrychon View Post
        Actually... we need you to go ahead and fill out the other rounds.

        I want to see where all my favorite comedians go.

        Titus, Eddie Izzard, Bill Engvall....
        It took me too long to make just that one round,

        If you want to go rounds 2-7 its all yours
        A book I wrote


        • #5
          I'm no draftnik.


          • #6

            I put way to much effort on this to watch it sink to the bottom of the page,
            A book I wrote


            • #7
              Kudos for the effort. A few things though: Where is Mitch Hedburg? And there is only one true #1 pick and that is Richard Pryor, with George Carlin being #2.


              • #8
                Originally posted by chazoe60 View Post
                Kudos for the effort. A few things though: Where is Mitch Hedburg? And there is only one true #1 pick and that is Richard Pryor, with George Carlin being #2.
                Dang! I just noticed that!
                Mitch is easily a top 10 pick.
                LET 'ER BUCK!!!
                Adopted by: Peanut, Chazoe60, CanDB, RealBronco and JakeNbake


                • #9
                  No Jeff Dunham?


                  • #10
                    I think we should have grabbed Gabriel Iglesias, we need a "fluffy" nose tackle!


                    • #11
                      Bill Hicks, Lewis Black, Jim Norton, and "The Queen of Mean" Lisa Lampinelli all top 15 picks IMO . . . .great post thanx for lightening things up a bit
                      photo by my GF...[email protected]


                      • #12
                        Jeff Dunham over Jim Gaffigan any day
                        2016 Draft:


                        • #13
                          This was rather funny...kudos.
                          New England Patriots GM


                          • #14
                            where the heck is chris rock?
                            disclaimer: if the above post appears to contain outrageously illogical content, ITS PROBABLY SARCASM


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by broncos1997 View Post
                              where the heck is chris rock?
                              He and Carlos Mencia got in trouble for racism

                              Lol sorry everyone it was a setup I had to take.
                              2016 Draft: