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JaMarcus the Hutt being treated for Lethargy Addiction!!!!

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  • JaMarcus the Hutt being treated for Lethargy Addiction!!!!

    Complete and Utter and Complete Again WIN!

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...SPI71CDAPD.DTL

    This is a story that's got legs. In fact, the story is moving quicker than the guy it's about.

    Gary Peterson, in his Bay Area News Group column Sunday, wrote that Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell was "rumored to have spent part of the offseason at a clinic being treated for lethargy addiction ...."

    That joke refers to Russell's notorious work-lite ethic, and to reports that he has been in Arizona at an athletic training program. I, too, have written lines that were so cute that readers missed the joke. Peterson's jest was taken literally by one Bay Area TV sportscaster, who reported Russell's "treatment" as news.

    So it's been in print and on TV - JaMarcus is in lethargy rehab. From the e-chat at various Raiders' fan sites, it's clear that for many, the jest has morphed into fact.

    Russell did go to Arizona, although if he actually enrolled in a shape-up program, it's news to Raiders' execs.

    The interesting thing is not that a columnist's jest was misconstrued, or that a TV reporter misconstrued it. What's fascinating is that Russell's body of, uh, work in three NFL seasons makes the jokey report totally believable.

    Russell has become the poster dude for lethargy, a condition waiting to be clinically approved.

    Soon doctors will explain that lethargy isn't a character fault, it's a disease. If a golfer can be addicted to sex, why can't a quarterback be addicted to sloth? At least Russell is a recovering non-workaholic.

    By the way, on YouTube I saw a clip, "JaMarcus spins twice & slings it 53." Russell, then quarterbacking LSU, and a good 50 pounds lighter than the Russell of today, makes a dazzlingly nimble escape from a pass rush and completes a bomb. If only he could move like that now ...

    I need to cover myself here. Maybe Russell really did check into the Lazy Star Dude Ranch & Lethargy Clinic in Phoenix. If so, I wish him luck making it to the meetings.
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  • #2
    Scott Ostler's awesome like that.

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    • #3
      I cant wait to hear the "One time...........at fat camp............" stories from Russell.





      Unless it involved a flute. Then all is off.
      Last edited by McSmashie; 03-12-2010, 10:10 AM.
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      • #4
        Lethargy... which is caused from his addiction to sizzurp for those who don't know.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by RaiderFanSD View Post
          Lethargy... which is caused from his addiction to sizzurp for those who don't know.
          Codeine or Maple?
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          2012 Broncos Country Pick 'Em Challenge Champion

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          • #6
            Just heard by Colin Cowherd on the radio that this was a joke said by one radio announcer, and then heard and reported by another journalist who thought it was reality. Point in case... this isn't true.

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            • #7
              Sweet, I can has condition?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Maharishineo View Post
                Just heard by Colin Cowherd on the radio that this was a joke said by one radio announcer, and then heard and reported by another journalist who thought it was reality. Point in case... this isn't true.
                The report may not be true but JaMarcus is in fact hooked on Codeine/Sizzurp.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by RaiderFanSD View Post
                  The report may not be true but JaMarcus is in fact hooked on Codeine/Sizzurp.
                  Someone needs to introduce that man to meth, he'll be at ideal playing weight by training camp~

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by BroncosTX77 View Post
                    Someone needs to introduce that man to meth, he'll be at ideal playing weight by training camp~

                    And the energy....wow he could be up for days learing his playbook instead of colouring in it.

                    On other related medical news. Jamarcus was the first person to beat the flesh eating disease....it got full while trying to eat him, and quit!
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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by EddieMac View Post
                      And the energy....wow he could be up for days learing his playbook instead of colouring in it.

                      On other related medical news. Jamarcus was the first person to beat the flesh eating disease....it got full while trying to eat him, and quit!
                      I heard JeMarcus hired a new nutritional coach.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by McSmashie View Post
                        I cant wait to hear the "One time...........at fat camp............" stories from Russell.





                        Unless it involved a flute. Then all if off.
                        WOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!
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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by RaiderFanSD View Post
                          Lethargy... which is caused from his addiction to sizzurp for those who don't know.


                          Nope Lethargy comes from his addiction to Twinkies/Big macs.

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