Great news for Notre Dame fans!!!

[thesaint]

Heisman Organizers Finish Pre-Taping Brady Quinn’s Acceptance Ceremony

Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn was back at practice this morning after spending the last two days in New York filming his acceptance of the 2006 Heisman Trophy.

“It all seems to more or less be a formality since it’s been written in stone how freaking awesome I’m going to be this year, so the Heisman Foundation and ESPN decided to just tape the whole thing now to get it over with while we all have some free time,” said Quinn. “Then they’ll just rebroadcast it December 9th as scheduled like it was all live. When it airs I’ll probably watch it on TV on a yacht drinking Cristal out of a stripper’s cleavage.”

Kevin White, Notre Dame’s director of athletics, said the school supported the decision to put an end to the charade of an actual 2006 Heisman race because he saw it as a cost saver for the school’s athletic department.

Now we don’t need to put together a Heisman campaign for Brady,” said White. “Those things cost tens of thousands of dollars. Not that it would be all that necessary in this case, though. Brady winning the Heisman was a guarantee even before he was preemptively awarded it. The media is so far up our butt here at Notre Dame that they’ll give the Heisman to any Notre Dame player with a pulse. And he’s more or less the first Notre Dame player with a pulse in a good 10 or 15 years, so they’ve really been chomping at the bit to give a Fighting Irish player the award.”

Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis agrees.

“Outside of Brady completely falling apart and throwing 20 interceptions, the Heisman was his anyway,” said Weis. “The actual awarding of it to him was a mere formality, so why not get it over with? I just hope he doesn’t actually throw 20 interceptions. That would really put a damper on the whole thing. But I suppose it’s possible, though. He built up his pristine reputation last year by putting up huge numbers against a schedule full of complete crap. But we actually have some legitimate contenders on our schedule this year. If he is pre-awarded the Heisman and then goes out to have a bad season, it’s really going to get the Notre Dame haters going.”

Jim Crawford, the ESPN producer who organized the Quinn Heisman shoot, said the broadcast will be the first-ever of its kind.

“Viewers will have no idea that it was shot in August instead of live in December,” he said. “Everything will look exactly the same. The only difference is that the other quote-unquote candidates were played by actors. The only problem would be is if viewers notice we have white actors playing Ted Ginn and Adrian Peterson. Other than that, I think we’re golden.”

[Broncos72690]

It shows how trashy ND people are.

[Jared]

Heisman Organizers Finish Pre-Taping Brady Quinn’s Acceptance Ceremony

Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn was back at practice this morning after spending the last two days in New York filming his acceptance of the 2006 Heisman Trophy.

“It all seems to more or less be a formality since it’s been written in stone how freaking awesome I’m going to be this year, so the Heisman Foundation and ESPN decided to just tape the whole thing now to get it over with while we all have some free time,” said Quinn. “Then they’ll just rebroadcast it December 9th as scheduled like it was all live. When it airs I’ll probably watch it on TV on a yacht drinking Cristal out of a stripper’s cleavage.”

Kevin White, Notre Dame’s director of athletics, said the school supported the decision to put an end to the charade of an actual 2006 Heisman race because he saw it as a cost saver for the school’s athletic department.

Now we don’t need to put together a Heisman campaign for Brady,” said White. “Those things cost tens of thousands of dollars. Not that it would be all that necessary in this case, though. Brady winning the Heisman was a guarantee even before he was preemptively awarded it. The media is so far up our butt here at Notre Dame that they’ll give the Heisman to any Notre Dame player with a pulse. And he’s more or less the first Notre Dame player with a pulse in a good 10 or 15 years, so they’ve really been chomping at the bit to give a Fighting Irish player the award.”

Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis agrees.

“Outside of Brady completely falling apart and throwing 20 interceptions, the Heisman was his anyway,” said Weis. “The actual awarding of it to him was a mere formality, so why not get it over with? I just hope he doesn’t actually throw 20 interceptions. That would really put a damper on the whole thing. But I suppose it’s possible, though. He built up his pristine reputation last year by putting up huge numbers against a schedule full of complete crap. But we actually have some legitimate contenders on our schedule this year. If he is pre-awarded the Heisman and then goes out to have a bad season, it’s really going to get the Notre Dame haters going.”

Jim Crawford, the ESPN producer who organized the Quinn Heisman shoot, said the broadcast will be the first-ever of its kind.

“Viewers will have no idea that it was shot in August instead of live in December,” he said. “Everything will look exactly the same. The only difference is that the other quote-unquote candidates were played by actors. The only problem would be is if viewers notice we have white actors playing Ted Ginn and Adrian Peterson. Other than that, I think we’re golden.”

Hahaha.

Good stuff.


The Brushback or The Onion?

[xX-Bronco-Xx]

It shows how trashy ND people are.

So my cousin and a few friends go to Notre Dame I guess your calling them trashy right?

People and thier ignorant ways..

[Orange_Crush21]

Hahaha.

Good stuff.


The Brushback or The Onion?

I think it's The Onion.

This week's Brushback:

Rest Of Oklahoma Football Players Hastily Quit Their Fake Jobs

NORMAN, OK--After quarterback Rhett Bomar and guard JD Quinn were dismissed from the team for accepting paychecks from a car dealership they didn’t actually earn, the rest of the Oklahoma Sooners hastily quit their own fake jobs to avoid a similar fate.

As of Tuesday, 10 players had been forced to resign from their non-jobs.

“Well I guess that’s it for me at that sporting goods store up the street,” said one player, who asked not to be identified. “It’s too bad, too, because I was making $1,000 a week. Don’t think it was an easy job. I went in one day a week for three hours and had to break up these boxes and put them in a dumpster. Now I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do for money. I wonder if I could sell the Hummer that booster let me borrow. Uh… I mean my ‘friend’ let me borrow. My older, richer friend who gives cars to football players.”

Bomar and Quinn violated a major NCAA rule by collecting paychecks for a job they didn’t actually perform. The incident served as a wake-up cool for the rest of the players on the team who were doing the same thing.

“It’s a blessing in disguise that those guys got dismissed from the team,” said a junior defensive player. “That could’ve been me. It could’ve been anyone on this team. Hell, it could have been any NCAA football player across the country. That’s pretty scary if you think about it. I guess the lesson in all of this is that if you’re going to take a fake job, make sure they pay you under the table so you don’t get caught. They should make an after-school special about that.”

Not every Sooners player has a fake job. Many less important members of the team are forced to work actual jobs and also study to prepare themselves for life after college football. None of those players were surprised to hear what happened to Bomar.

“That’s typical. If you’re a good player you’re going to get hand-outs,” said Mark Dempsey, a member of the Sooners practice squad. “But for a lot of us, that’s not an option. We have to work real jobs, we have to study, and we have to act like regular students who just happen to play football. Remember, there are 350,000 students athletes in this country, and almost all of us are going pro in something other than sports. Me? I’m going pro in business administration, which means I’ll someday be giving fake jobs to college football players.”

Despite rumors of rampant NCAA violations on his team, Coach Bob Stoops has no plans for further disciplinary action. His only concern now is finding another quarterback to take over for the highly-touted Bomar.

“Rhett is gone and now we’re just moving forward,” Stoops said. “Hopefully one of the other guys will be able to step in and take his place. If not, we’ll just run the ball and play good defense. Whatever happens, I have no regrets about taking a stand. The integrity of this program is more important than wins and losses. I just hope the boosters take that into consideration when they’re threatening to kill me.”

As for Bomar, he has accepted responsibility for his actions and is hoping for a second chance with another school. He’ll most likely catch on with someone, as his mistake was relatively minor and extremely common.

“I made a mistake and I’m sorry for that,” Bomar said in a telephone interview yesterday. “I would like to get one more chance, though. You know what happens to college football players when we can’t play anymore, don’t you? We go astray. Do I need to say the name? Do I? Starts with an ‘M’ ends with a ‘Clarett?’ I think you know who I’m talking about: Mark McClarett, defensive end from North Dakota State. He got busted for working a fake job and ended up having to get a real job instead. Talk about a chilling cautionary tale.”

According to reports, Bomar has already been contacted by one Division I school about a possible scholarship, as well as a 60-hour a week job as an air traffic controller.

http://thebrushback.com/fakejobs_full.htm

[rich_thunder]

ND has to play Navy, Army, etc...wow...tough schedule.

[NJBRONCOSFAN]

ND has to play Navy, Army, etc...wow...tough schedule.

They also have Penn State, Michigan, and USC.

The one thing that people can generally not do is knock ND's schedule..they routinely play one of the hardest ones in the nation.
By their standards though, their schedule is a little easier this year...which I think helps fuel the talk of a national championship.

[Nick7]

It shows how trashy ND people are.

kinda like the ''VOTE FOR PETERSON'' T-shirts you see everywhere...

[Broncos72690]

kinda like the ''VOTE FOR PETERSON'' T-shirts you see everywhere...

How is that trashy?

He's not telling everyone that he's going to win the heisman. And I highly doubt that ND did all that stuff. I said that as a joke.

[Broncos72690]

I think it's The Onion.

This week's Brushback:

Rest Of Oklahoma Football Players Hastily Quit Their Fake Jobs

NORMAN, OK--After quarterback Rhett Bomar and guard JD Quinn were dismissed from the team for accepting paychecks from a car dealership they didn’t actually earn, the rest of the Oklahoma Sooners hastily quit their own fake jobs to avoid a similar fate.

As of Tuesday, 10 players had been forced to resign from their non-jobs.

“Well I guess that’s it for me at that sporting goods store up the street,” said one player, who asked not to be identified. “It’s too bad, too, because I was making $1,000 a week. Don’t think it was an easy job. I went in one day a week for three hours and had to break up these boxes and put them in a dumpster. Now I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do for money. I wonder if I could sell the Hummer that booster let me borrow. Uh… I mean my ‘friend’ let me borrow. My older, richer friend who gives cars to football players.”

Bomar and Quinn violated a major NCAA rule by collecting paychecks for a job they didn’t actually perform. The incident served as a wake-up cool for the rest of the players on the team who were doing the same thing.

“It’s a blessing in disguise that those guys got dismissed from the team,” said a junior defensive player. “That could’ve been me. It could’ve been anyone on this team. Hell, it could have been any NCAA football player across the country. That’s pretty scary if you think about it. I guess the lesson in all of this is that if you’re going to take a fake job, make sure they pay you under the table so you don’t get caught. They should make an after-school special about that.”

Not every Sooners player has a fake job. Many less important members of the team are forced to work actual jobs and also study to prepare themselves for life after college football. None of those players were surprised to hear what happened to Bomar.

“That’s typical. If you’re a good player you’re going to get hand-outs,” said Mark Dempsey, a member of the Sooners practice squad. “But for a lot of us, that’s not an option. We have to work real jobs, we have to study, and we have to act like regular students who just happen to play football. Remember, there are 350,000 students athletes in this country, and almost all of us are going pro in something other than sports. Me? I’m going pro in business administration, which means I’ll someday be giving fake jobs to college football players.”

Despite rumors of rampant NCAA violations on his team, Coach Bob Stoops has no plans for further disciplinary action. His only concern now is finding another quarterback to take over for the highly-touted Bomar.

“Rhett is gone and now we’re just moving forward,” Stoops said. “Hopefully one of the other guys will be able to step in and take his place. If not, we’ll just run the ball and play good defense. Whatever happens, I have no regrets about taking a stand. The integrity of this program is more important than wins and losses. I just hope the boosters take that into consideration when they’re threatening to kill me.”

As for Bomar, he has accepted responsibility for his actions and is hoping for a second chance with another school. He’ll most likely catch on with someone, as his mistake was relatively minor and extremely common.

“I made a mistake and I’m sorry for that,” Bomar said in a telephone interview yesterday. “I would like to get one more chance, though. You know what happens to college football players when we can’t play anymore, don’t you? We go astray. Do I need to say the name? Do I? Starts with an ‘M’ ends with a ‘Clarett?’ I think you know who I’m talking about: Mark McClarett, defensive end from North Dakota State. He got busted for working a fake job and ended up having to get a real job instead. Talk about a chilling cautionary tale.”

According to reports, Bomar has already been contacted by one Division I school about a possible scholarship, as well as a 60-hour a week job as an air traffic controller.

http://thebrushback.com/fakejobs_full.htm

I don't think a player would admit that he had a fake job, especially if it meant he would get kicked off the team. This article is obviously fake.

[xX-Bronco-Xx]

I don't think a player would admit that he had a fake job, especially if it meant he would get kicked off the team. This article is obviously fake.

[Nick7]

What xX-Bronco-Xx meant, was,''Thanks for that, captain obvious.''

[Jared]

I don't think a player would admit that he had a fake job, especially if it meant he would get kicked off the team. This article is obviously fake.

Hence, why it is on the Brushback.


You know, a sports SATIRE site?

[champbronc2]

ND has to play Navy, Army, etc...wow...tough schedule.

REALLY tough! lol easiest confrence ever.

[xX-Bronco-Xx]

REALLY tough! lol easiest confrence ever.

Not really!

Usually Notre Dame has one of the hardest schedules and I'm just thankful we have an easier schedule this year.