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Thread: Tell the truth!

  1. #16
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    A guy can definitely be friends with a girl from just a friendly relationship status. I have had lots of girlfriends, and girls that are friends. This has always been some what of an issue for me, as about half of my girlfriends thought this subject should go "me and only me way".

    I have many attractive friends that are girls. Some... ehhh being single at the moment if they were to present an interesting situation to myself I just may have to oblige. However! I cannot think of a good friend that I have now that I even want to be in a relationship with. I'm not a guy to mess around with numbers of girls, I'm more of a one on one type guy. If I'm not truly interested in you I won't make any advances. That being said, I know of many and have had many girls that were just purely friends... nothing else, never will or have been. Plain and simple.

    I don't buy this crap where if a girl is attractive a man will automatically want to have sex with her. I wouldn't have sex with many girls that I would find attractive. Maybe it's just because I'm not desperate? (This is all assuming of course that no alcohol is involved).
    Last edited by Zealander; 01-16-2008 at 01:18 PM.

  2. #17
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    I have tons of male friends that I have never even contemplated having sex with. And they don't even see me as a female, let alone a sexual person.

    They'd get all weirded out at the notion of me hooking up.
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  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilsstinkr View Post
    I got in this huge discussion last night with my husband and inlaws! I would love for anyone and everyone to give there honest oppinion on this matter. I dont want this to turn into smak talk. I just want honest oppinions!
    So here it is! Can a guy be friends with a female and only be friends with them for friendship? Or is the only reason a man even thinks about being a friend with a women,because they just want to get in there pants. Married or un married!
    It is to either to get in there pants or they bat for the other team.

  4. #19
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    good question!

    I can only give you my side of experience which is simialr to a lot of people.


    I am a guy. At least that is what my mom told me.

    Have a fiance. close enough to being married. kind of. just a little.

    have quite a few friends. around 24ish

    majority are guys.

    but several of my friends are indeed girls. I know they are girls because the have every thing a girl is suppose to have..... and not have, at least I think so.

    ok enough with that

    The friends that I have the are girls are mostly friends with because we go school with each other and are mostly study buddies than anything else. Not once I have had a sexual thought married or unmarried. Just never thought about it.

    Reason is I am loyal in a religious way, it was just the way I was brought up, I joke around but never serious about it.

    And the "girl friends" feel more like sisters and/or work partners so its kind of hard of having sexual thoughts with someone you see as a sister or a business partner.

    ok enough.................

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by // / yardo View Post
    One more thing... Give credit to your husband for making light of the situation and not being threatened by it.
    I did! Believe me!

    Thank you yardo! Maybe your right about not seeing him for who he was. I just wish it was easier at times to see the diffrence. This guy was alot harder to read till I got that CD!
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  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by draco193 View Post
    Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
    Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
    Sally: Why not?
    Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
    Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
    Harry: No, you don't.
    Sally: Yes, I do.
    Harry: No, you don't.
    Sally: Yes, I do.
    Harry: You only think you do.
    Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
    Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
    Sally: They do not.
    Harry: Do too.
    Sally: They do not.
    Harry: Do too.
    Sally: How do you know?
    Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
    Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
    Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
    Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
    Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.

    With that said, we can begin to understand the problems that both men and women occur when courting the opposite sex.

    The basic premise of the Ladder Theory is as follows:

    Men have a ladder which is basically a ranking system. Descending down to the bottom of the ladder we pass the following people:

    1. The people we really want, who may even be out of our league, are on top
    2. Then come the people we like
    3. Moving further down we pass the people who we would have sex with if we were intoxicated and would admit to doing it later.
    4. At the bottom are the people we would have sex with drunk, and would lie about doing it later.

    Understand so far? Stay with me.

    Women are different. This is becasue in addition the normal ladder, a woman also has a friends ladder. The friends ladder is where a woman puts guys that she considers "just friends". More to the point where she puts guys who don't get to have sex with her.
    Those "friends" who try to make a jump to the relationship ladder will fall off into the "Abyss" where neither a proper friendship or relationship is possible.

    Now before you get all antsy in the pantsy, think about it. Think about all those succesful relationships and those that have failed miserably. Right?


    http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

    I most certainly believe what is written here. And I hate the abyss.
    LOL I do see your point. I am not the type to get all pissy I have hung out with guys all my life. Chicks usally get on my nerves. But with that said I think you put it in the most simplest terms posible. I did forget about that in when harry met sally. I damn nere fell out of my chair reading...... You have a point!
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  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilsstinkr View Post
    I got in this huge discussion last night with my husband and inlaws! I would love for anyone and everyone to give there honest oppinion on this matter. I dont want this to turn into smak talk. I just want honest oppinions!
    So here it is! Can a guy be friends with a female and only be friends with them for friendship? Or is the only reason a man even thinks about being a friend with a women,because they just want to get in there pants. Married or un married!
    1)When I see a woman I immediatly think is she bangable? Yes or No
    2)I also assign her a ranking from one to ten
    3)I will definately give an attractive woman more patience than a lesser attractive one.
    4) I've had tons of female friends married and unmarried.
    5) Female friends rule! I learn so much from female friends as opposed to male friends. If I ever need any advice, I FIRST talk to my female friends.
    6) So far I have never banged a married female friend. Last year our relationship got really close, then she made multiple moves on me, but I have resisted. (this babe is gorgeous btw)
    7) So yes you can have female friends! However, I still wanna bang all the attractive ones.
    8) Lesser attractive woman definately can move up on my ranking system. If they have a quick wit, I LOVE that. If they know how to flirt, that gains them points as well.
    Last edited by GOTTALOVEPATS; 01-17-2008 at 08:35 AM.

  8. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilsstinkr View Post
    LOL I do see your point. I am not the type to get all pissy I have hung out with guys all my life. Chicks usally get on my nerves. But with that said I think you put it in the most simplest terms posible. I did forget about that in when harry met sally. I damn nere fell out of my chair reading...... You have a point!
    Lol, glad I could at least do that. A great movie it is.


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  9. #24
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    All the female friends I have I want to have sex with in every way possible. I only have one ugly female friend and she's not really ugly just skinny.

    Many of my female friends call me a freak because they know that's what I want but we're still friends.

  10. #25
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    yes.

    my best friend is a girl.

    i have to much respect for her to try and get in her pants.
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    you guys are the saddest team in nfl right now! 8-8 will win the west,.thats just a joke. there will be 6-8 teams sitting home with better records,
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  11. #26
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    Obviously there are exceptions but the typical single guy is friends with an attractive woman because he's hoping he can get to that next level.

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by // / yardo View Post
    Obviously there are exceptions but the typical single guy is friends with an attractive woman because he's hoping he can get to that next level.
    I get that it is just really frustraiting at times. Expecialy when you make a point to say that your are happly married.
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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilsstinkr View Post
    everyone to give there honest oppinion... I just want honest oppinions!!

    I just had to chime in about the Oppinions. Being that the thread is about what it's about.......I just found it funny you spelled it OPP....ha OPP....Naughty By Nature....."You down with OPP? Yeah you know me!"


    hahalolhaha



    Back on topic......I have a few female friends and though they would like me to become more, I just keep it as a friendship because I don't want to lose that........a friendship.



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  14. #29
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    As a female, I think we can. Can't say what the guy are REALLY thinking. But I have a few guy friends that I am not at all attracted to, but we chat & invite them over to hang with the Hubby & I.

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by draco193 View Post
    Those "friends" who try to make a jump to the relationship ladder will fall off into the "Abyss" where neither a proper friendship or relationship is possible.
    Ah, the abyss, it's certainly dark down here and I can't find a way to climb out of here.

    When at school I had several female friends, one in particular was a pretty close friend (she was really attractive) but at the time we became friends that wasn't really an issue because I was too young to be interested in girls. Anyway over the next couple of years I began to get more feelings for her but was too nervous/shy/ugly (delete as applicable, oh, they are all applicable ) to ask her out, even though I had overheard one of her mates saying she had feelings for me.

    A couple of weeks later I told one of my mates that I was going to ask her out when the opportunity next arose but later that day another of my mates (who didn't know of my feelings for her) had asked her out and they were an item. This absolutely crushed what little fragile confidence I had even though their relationship lasted a matter of days (break-up was nothing to do with me). This is 10 years back now when we were 14 and we were still great friends until we left school at 16 (although I never had the confidence to even consider asking her out again)

    After school, we both went to the same college for 2 years but we were not as close as we were at school and stupidly I sent her a Valentine's card, the card was never mentioned by either of us and we continued to drift apart. Upon leaving college, 5 and a half years ago now, we lost contact (partly because of my lack of a computer at the time and refusal to get a mobile phone until I relented a couple of months ago). I'm still not fully over it and still compare every attractive girl I see to her.

    To get it back on topic, I'd say that a guy can be friends with a woman, I was still friends with many girls at school without wanting sex with them, maybe because I only had eyes for one girl, but yep a guy can be friends with a girl without wanting sex with her as long as the guy has got someone else in their life.

    If you have made it this far without going to look at another thread, then I can only apologise for the length of post and for wavering slightly away from the true meaning of the topic, but I thank you for reading and sticking with the post as I really needed to get that off my chest after all this time of keeping it to myself.

    Ooo, I've found an oil-burning lantern down here and can just about make out the top of this abyss now

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