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  1. #1
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    Dec 2006
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    Shanahan-A menace?

    I'll get right to the point. Mike Shanahan has deported himself as an enemy of peace and harmony. For most of the facts I'm about to present, I have provided documentation and urge you to confirm these facts for yourself if you're skeptical. He wants to be the one who determines what information we have access to. Yet Shanahan is also a big proponent of a particularly licentious form of exclusionism. Do you see something wrong with that picture? What I see is that some people apparently believe that if we don't bother him, he won't bother us. The fallacy of that belief is that our desires and his are not merely different; they are opposed in mortal enmity. Shanahan wants to waste our time and money. We, in contrast, want to alert people that I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about his artifices. It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that he should start developing the parts of his brain that have been impaired by pharisaism. At least then he'll stop trying to silence any criticism of the brainwashing and double standards that he has increasingly been practicing.

    Though unsavory cannibalism is not discussed in this post, much of what I've written applies to that, as well. If I could ask Shanahan one thing, I'd ask him why he thinks society is supposed to be lenient towards unconscionable, cheeky beggars. The problem is that Shanahan shrinks from such questions like a vampire shrinks from a crucifix. You'd be more likely to get Shanahan to admit that his lieutenants should commit to a process that respects civil liberties, civil rights, and civil discourse. For that reason, perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of feckless, lewd loonies. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that Shanahan's insults are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. Shanahan's adherents assert that everyone who scrambles aboard the Mike Shanahan bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride. This is precisely the non-equation that Shanahan is trying to patch together. What he's missing, as usual, is that he is always prating about how if he kicks us in the teeth we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick. (He used to say that children should belong to the state, but the evidence is too contrary so he's given up on that score.)

    According to Shanahan's distortions, distractions, and outright deceptions, honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. Fortunately, most of the people who are seriously interested in preserving our civilization know that the reality is that Shanahan would have us believe that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. A true enemy is better than a false friend. An equal but opposite observation is that he once tried convincing me that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to create some abominable, pseudo-psychological profile of me to discredit my opinions. Does he think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that Shanahan's personal attacks may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into grotesque recidivism.

    Shanahan claims that dangerous fogeys aren't ever immature. I, however, believe that that's a load of crud. Yes, I would much rather enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being than waste my precious time chastising malign, soporific spoilsports, but his deeds are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, the reason he wants to institutionalize immoralism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science is that he's entirely bloody-minded. If you believe you have another explanation for his feral behavior, then please write and tell me about it.

    Teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that Shanahan can change his addlepated ways. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that Shanahan is totally jackbooted, as he has proved to my complete satisfaction. He keeps saying that he has achieved sainthood. For some reason, Shanahan's torchbearers actually believe this nonsense.

    While self-justification may motivate the most testy ogres you'll ever see, the same jokes also work well for brutish buggers. I want to let Shanahan know, in no uncertain terms, that I get concerned when I see him dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories. But first, let me pose an abstract question. Is it really his impression that might makes right? The answer is not obvious because we must burn away social illness, exploitation, and human suffering. Our children depend on that. I would like to give you an example of how debauched he can be. Shanahan has admitted that he intends to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions. Okay, that may have been a particularly bald-faced and unsubtle example but if Shanahan would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to evaluate the tactics Shanahan has used against me.

    Assume for a moment that Shanahan's relationship to the real world is peripheral. It therefore follows that Shanahan focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, he attempts to twist and distort facts to justify his feelings but that just goes to show that Shanahan thrives on the victimization of others. The destruction of the Tower of Babel, be it a literal truth, an allegory, or a mere story based upon cultural archetypes, illustrates this truth plainly.

    Since most people oppose Shanahan's revolting, unsophisticated wheelings and dealings, he has had to destroy the lives of good, honest people using every unsympathetic means imaginable. Many people are convinced that I find Shanahan's activities not only insalubrious but also self-serving. I can't comment on that but I can say that the spirits of our ancestors grieve as they watch him bar people from partaking in activities that cannot be monitored and controlled. So let him call me unruly. I call him mawkish. I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Shanahan's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Shanahan's writings to know that Shanahan's remarks were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, the only weapons Shanahan has in his intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That's all he has, and he knows it.

    Should we worry that Shanahan wants to pour a few drops of wormwood into our general enthusiasm? In a word, yes. And that's not just because the elasticity of his interpretation of the Bible shields Shanahan from having to take a stand for anything morally correct yet politically (spiritually?) unpopular, but also because the real question here is not, "Why can't he state the facts straightforwardly without their being exaggerated, aggrandized, altered, fiddled with, dressed up, falsified, and, in short, Shanahan-ized?". The real question is rather, "Will peeling back the onion of Shanahan's silly views cause Shanahan to shed tears or will it merely enhance his desire to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without his power-hungry efforts?" That's not a rhetorical question. What's more, the answer is so stunning that you may want to put down that cereal spoon before reading. You see, Shanahan is trying hard to convince a substantial number of noisome televangelists to inject his lethal poison into our children's minds and souls. He presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite puerile, indelicate franions to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that there is a format Shanahan should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts.

    It really bothers Shanahan when people don't obey him. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to initiate meaningful change. Let me quote to you from the words of my attorney: "Shanahan's tactics include personally attacking various individuals for whom I have a great deal of respect." If we let him pull the levers of philistinism and oil the gears of hooliganism, who's going to protect us? The government? Our parents? Superman? Probably none of the above. That's why it's important to prescribe a course of action and encourage others to do the same. To summarize my views: Coach Mike Shanahan weeps crocodile tears for those who suffer as a result of his hijinks.

  2. #2
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    Dec 2003
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    You're supposed to reveal the joke at the end.
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    My adopted Bronco is Chris Kuper. Huzzah!

    I am the raid leader for this World of Warcraft guild. Yay us!

  3. #3
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    Sep 2003
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    Too far away from the Rockies
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    I'm not sure I've ever seen someone spend so much time and effort to say absolutely nothing

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    He took an article and just replaced the subject's name with Shanahan.

    Haha! Lol! Roflmao! z0mg!...

    Whatever...
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    My adopted Bronco is Chris Kuper. Huzzah!

    I am the raid leader for this World of Warcraft guild. Yay us!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geandily View Post
    I'll get right to the point. Mike Shanahan has deported himself as an enemy of peace and harmony. For most of the facts I'm about to present, I have provided documentation and urge you to confirm these facts for yourself if you're skeptical. He wants to be the one who determines what information we have access to. Yet Shanahan is also a big proponent of a particularly licentious form of exclusionism. Do you see something wrong with that picture? What I see is that some people apparently believe that if we don't bother him, he won't bother us. The fallacy of that belief is that our desires and his are not merely different; they are opposed in mortal enmity. Shanahan wants to waste our time and money. We, in contrast, want to alert people that I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about his artifices. It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that he should start developing the parts of his brain that have been impaired by pharisaism. At least then he'll stop trying to silence any criticism of the brainwashing and double standards that he has increasingly been practicing.

    Though unsavory cannibalism is not discussed in this post, much of what I've written applies to that, as well. If I could ask Shanahan one thing, I'd ask him why he thinks society is supposed to be lenient towards unconscionable, cheeky beggars. The problem is that Shanahan shrinks from such questions like a vampire shrinks from a crucifix. You'd be more likely to get Shanahan to admit that his lieutenants should commit to a process that respects civil liberties, civil rights, and civil discourse. For that reason, perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of feckless, lewd loonies. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that Shanahan's insults are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. Shanahan's adherents assert that everyone who scrambles aboard the Mike Shanahan bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride. This is precisely the non-equation that Shanahan is trying to patch together. What he's missing, as usual, is that he is always prating about how if he kicks us in the teeth we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick. (He used to say that children should belong to the state, but the evidence is too contrary so he's given up on that score.)

    According to Shanahan's distortions, distractions, and outright deceptions, honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. Fortunately, most of the people who are seriously interested in preserving our civilization know that the reality is that Shanahan would have us believe that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. A true enemy is better than a false friend. An equal but opposite observation is that he once tried convincing me that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to create some abominable, pseudo-psychological profile of me to discredit my opinions. Does he think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that Shanahan's personal attacks may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into grotesque recidivism.

    Shanahan claims that dangerous fogeys aren't ever immature. I, however, believe that that's a load of crud. Yes, I would much rather enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being than waste my precious time chastising malign, soporific spoilsports, but his deeds are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, the reason he wants to institutionalize immoralism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science is that he's entirely bloody-minded. If you believe you have another explanation for his feral behavior, then please write and tell me about it.

    Teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that Shanahan can change his addlepated ways. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that Shanahan is totally jackbooted, as he has proved to my complete satisfaction. He keeps saying that he has achieved sainthood. For some reason, Shanahan's torchbearers actually believe this nonsense.

    While self-justification may motivate the most testy ogres you'll ever see, the same jokes also work well for brutish buggers. I want to let Shanahan know, in no uncertain terms, that I get concerned when I see him dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories. But first, let me pose an abstract question. Is it really his impression that might makes right? The answer is not obvious because we must burn away social illness, exploitation, and human suffering. Our children depend on that. I would like to give you an example of how debauched he can be. Shanahan has admitted that he intends to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions. Okay, that may have been a particularly bald-faced and unsubtle example but if Shanahan would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to evaluate the tactics Shanahan has used against me.
    Assume for a moment that Shanahan's relationship to the real world is peripheral. It therefore follows that Shanahan focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, he attempts to twist and distort facts to justify his feelings but that just goes to show that Shanahan thrives on the victimization of others. The destruction of the Tower of Babel, be it a literal truth, an allegory, or a mere story based upon cultural archetypes, illustrates this truth plainly.

    Since most people oppose Shanahan's revolting, unsophisticated wheelings and dealings, he has had to destroy the lives of good, honest people using every unsympathetic means imaginable. Many people are convinced that I find Shanahan's activities not only insalubrious but also self-serving. I can't comment on that but I can say that the spirits of our ancestors grieve as they watch him bar people from partaking in activities that cannot be monitored and controlled. So let him call me unruly. I call him mawkish. I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Shanahan's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Shanahan's writings to know that Shanahan's remarks were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, the only weapons Shanahan has in his intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That's all he has, and he knows it.

    Should we worry that Shanahan wants to pour a few drops of wormwood into our general enthusiasm? In a word, yes. And that's not just because the elasticity of his interpretation of the Bible shields Shanahan from having to take a stand for anything morally correct yet politically (spiritually?) unpopular, but also because the real question here is not, "Why can't he state the facts straightforwardly without their being exaggerated, aggrandized, altered, fiddled with, dressed up, falsified, and, in short, Shanahan-ized?". The real question is rather, "Will peeling back the onion of Shanahan's silly views cause Shanahan to shed tears or will it merely enhance his desire to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without his power-hungry efforts?" That's not a rhetorical question. What's more, the answer is so stunning that you may want to put down that cereal spoon before reading. You see, Shanahan is trying hard to convince a substantial number of noisome televangelists to inject his lethal poison into our children's minds and souls. He presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite puerile, indelicate franions to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that there is a format Shanahan should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts.

    It really bothers Shanahan when people don't obey him. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to initiate meaningful change. Let me quote to you from the words of my attorney: "Shanahan's tactics include personally attacking various individuals for whom I have a great deal of respect." If we let him pull the levers of philistinism and oil the gears of hooliganism, who's going to protect us? The government? Our parents? Superman? Probably none of the above. That's why it's important to prescribe a course of action and encourage others to do the same. To summarize my views: Coach Mike Shanahan weeps crocodile tears for those who suffer as a result of his hijinks.
    As if he is out there to personally get you, right
    When I first started reading this I thought I was going into something that Shanahan had done or cut someone. This is just a stupid rant from a 5 year old who knows absolutely nothing about football or its operations, people please don't even read it because it will only make you dumber

  6. #6
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    Dec 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by jvw View Post
    As if he is out there to personally get you, right
    When I first started reading this I thought I was going into something that Shanahan had done or cut someone. This is just a stupid rant from a 5 year old who knows absolutely nothing about football or its operations, people please don't even read it because it will only make you dumber
    Read the post above yours.
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    My adopted Bronco is Chris Kuper. Huzzah!

    I am the raid leader for this World of Warcraft guild. Yay us!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,545
    This is like when you are at a bar and the dude next to you is tanked, talking about nothing, but trying rationalize and come up with a new undiscovered perspective seaching endlessly and eventually coming back to reality while his next comment, over and over, crosses out what he just spent 2 rambling minutes on to prove.

    Websters version of "BS".

    *Takes last gulp of beer, throws down his tab, eyes to the tender to get "this guy" a cab and walks out*

  8. #8
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    Feb 2004
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    18,962
    I can't believe I read most of that...... I seriously have never read anything that was written in so many circles and said absolutely nothing as that did.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geandily View Post
    I'll get right to the point. Mike Shanahan has deported himself as an enemy of peace and harmony. For most of the facts I'm about to present, I have provided documentation and urge you to confirm these facts for yourself if you're skeptical. He wants to be the one who determines what information we have access to. Yet Shanahan is also a big proponent of a particularly licentious form of exclusionism. Do you see something wrong with that picture? What I see is that some people apparently believe that if we don't bother him, he won't bother us. The fallacy of that belief is that our desires and his are not merely different; they are opposed in mortal enmity. Shanahan wants to waste our time and money. We, in contrast, want to alert people that I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about his artifices. It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that he should start developing the parts of his brain that have been impaired by pharisaism. At least then he'll stop trying to silence any criticism of the brainwashing and double standards that he has increasingly been practicing.

    Though unsavory cannibalism is not discussed in this post, much of what I've written applies to that, as well. If I could ask Shanahan one thing, I'd ask him why he thinks society is supposed to be lenient towards unconscionable, cheeky beggars. The problem is that Shanahan shrinks from such questions like a vampire shrinks from a crucifix. You'd be more likely to get Shanahan to admit that his lieutenants should commit to a process that respects civil liberties, civil rights, and civil discourse. For that reason, perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of feckless, lewd loonies. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that Shanahan's insults are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. Shanahan's adherents assert that everyone who scrambles aboard the Mike Shanahan bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride. This is precisely the non-equation that Shanahan is trying to patch together. What he's missing, as usual, is that he is always prating about how if he kicks us in the teeth we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick. (He used to say that children should belong to the state, but the evidence is too contrary so he's given up on that score.)

    According to Shanahan's distortions, distractions, and outright deceptions, honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. Fortunately, most of the people who are seriously interested in preserving our civilization know that the reality is that Shanahan would have us believe that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. A true enemy is better than a false friend. An equal but opposite observation is that he once tried convincing me that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to create some abominable, pseudo-psychological profile of me to discredit my opinions. Does he think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that Shanahan's personal attacks may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into grotesque recidivism.

    Shanahan claims that dangerous fogeys aren't ever immature. I, however, believe that that's a load of crud. Yes, I would much rather enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being than waste my precious time chastising malign, soporific spoilsports, but his deeds are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, the reason he wants to institutionalize immoralism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science is that he's entirely bloody-minded. If you believe you have another explanation for his feral behavior, then please write and tell me about it.

    Teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that Shanahan can change his addlepated ways. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that Shanahan is totally jackbooted, as he has proved to my complete satisfaction. He keeps saying that he has achieved sainthood. For some reason, Shanahan's torchbearers actually believe this nonsense.

    While self-justification may motivate the most testy ogres you'll ever see, the same jokes also work well for brutish buggers. I want to let Shanahan know, in no uncertain terms, that I get concerned when I see him dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories. But first, let me pose an abstract question. Is it really his impression that might makes right? The answer is not obvious because we must burn away social illness, exploitation, and human suffering. Our children depend on that. I would like to give you an example of how debauched he can be. Shanahan has admitted that he intends to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions. Okay, that may have been a particularly bald-faced and unsubtle example but if Shanahan would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to evaluate the tactics Shanahan has used against me.

    Assume for a moment that Shanahan's relationship to the real world is peripheral. It therefore follows that Shanahan focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, he attempts to twist and distort facts to justify his feelings but that just goes to show that Shanahan thrives on the victimization of others. The destruction of the Tower of Babel, be it a literal truth, an allegory, or a mere story based upon cultural archetypes, illustrates this truth plainly.

    Since most people oppose Shanahan's revolting, unsophisticated wheelings and dealings, he has had to destroy the lives of good, honest people using every unsympathetic means imaginable. Many people are convinced that I find Shanahan's activities not only insalubrious but also self-serving. I can't comment on that but I can say that the spirits of our ancestors grieve as they watch him bar people from partaking in activities that cannot be monitored and controlled. So let him call me unruly. I call him mawkish. I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Shanahan's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Shanahan's writings to know that Shanahan's remarks were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, the only weapons Shanahan has in his intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That's all he has, and he knows it.

    Should we worry that Shanahan wants to pour a few drops of wormwood into our general enthusiasm? In a word, yes. And that's not just because the elasticity of his interpretation of the Bible shields Shanahan from having to take a stand for anything morally correct yet politically (spiritually?) unpopular, but also because the real question here is not, "Why can't he state the facts straightforwardly without their being exaggerated, aggrandized, altered, fiddled with, dressed up, falsified, and, in short, Shanahan-ized?". The real question is rather, "Will peeling back the onion of Shanahan's silly views cause Shanahan to shed tears or will it merely enhance his desire to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without his power-hungry efforts?" That's not a rhetorical question. What's more, the answer is so stunning that you may want to put down that cereal spoon before reading. You see, Shanahan is trying hard to convince a substantial number of noisome televangelists to inject his lethal poison into our children's minds and souls. He presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite puerile, indelicate franions to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that there is a format Shanahan should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts.

    It really bothers Shanahan when people don't obey him. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to initiate meaningful change. Let me quote to you from the words of my attorney: "Shanahan's tactics include personally attacking various individuals for whom I have a great deal of respect." If we let him pull the levers of philistinism and oil the gears of hooliganism, who's going to protect us? The government? Our parents? Superman? Probably none of the above. That's why it's important to prescribe a course of action and encourage others to do the same. To summarize my views: Coach Mike Shanahan weeps crocodile tears for those who suffer as a result of his hijinks.
    Do you feel better now? I was hoping in the last paragraph you were going to come out of the closet! Dam!@#$!

    I would like to nominate this post as "THE WORST POST OF THE OFF SEASON IN 3 YEARS!"

  10. #10
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    Did anyone see the movie "12 Monkeys". Well Brad Pitt plays a major nut job in the crazy house. This post reminds me of that character in the movie.

  11. #11
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    Dec 2006
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    Wow. Did Shanahan sleep with your girlfriend? I mean really man. I know the guy called some bad plays at inopportune moments but to say that he is out to get everything you hold near and dear is over stepping it a bit.

  12. #12
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    Feb 2006
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    I've seen this before, I can't remember were though.

    The article is INTENDED to say absolutely nothing with as many words as possible. Basically, you plug someone's name in, and the website writes that name in predetermined areas in the article.

    Thats all it is.

  13. #13
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    tl;dr

    wall o'text

  14. #14
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    Nov 2003
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    Geandily

    After a reading and rereading of your post I have reached the conclusion that you have finally gone off the deep end into mindless oblivion. Amid the similies and metaphores with little substance, I came to the realization that I had just wasted two minutes of my life.
    RIP Cameron

  15. #15
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    Jun 2007
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    Jacksonville, Fl
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    97
    Quote Originally Posted by BroncFanInPA View Post
    I'm not sure I've ever seen someone spend so much time and effort to say absolutely nothing
    DUDE WHAT PLANET DID THIS GUY COME FROM? OBVIOUSLY NOT EARTH.

    SOUNDS LIKE A BARACK OBAMA, TALKS GREAT BUT NEVER REALLY SAYS ANYTHING.

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