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  1. #316
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,334
    This is one of my favs from Charlie!

  2. #317
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,334

  3. #318
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    12,812

  4. #319
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ozarks
    Posts
    12,681
    Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
    “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

    ― Mark Twain



  5. #320
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ozarks
    Posts
    12,681
    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
    “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

    ― Mark Twain



  6. #321
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,334

  7. #322
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,334

  8. #323
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ozarks
    Posts
    12,681
    Why do blind people hate skydiving?


    It scares the hell out of their dogs.
    “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

    ― Mark Twain



  9. #324
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,334
    There was once a man named Odd.


    People made fun of him because of his name so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.


    Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."

  10. #325
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,334
    I watched Warner Brothers cartoons when I was a kid.

    I never thought about taking a firecracker and shoving it up a cat's butt because Tweety Bird did it to Sylvester.

  11. #326
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,334

  12. #327
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,334
    I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.

  13. #328
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,947
    My wife accused me of being immature.

    I told her to get out of my fort.

    ______________________

    A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please."
    Superbowl 50 MVP Von Miller on February 7th, 2016

  14. #329
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,334
    Q. What happened when one cannibal arrived late to the dinner party?

    A. The others gave him the cold shoulder.

  15. #330
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ozarks
    Posts
    12,681
    I hear that Chargers stadium is getting resodded.

    Its pretty bad when you can't even get your grass to root for you.
    “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

    ― Mark Twain



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