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  1. #151
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    In the 303
    Posts
    1,547
    Q: What did the paraplegic blind kid get for Christmas?


    A: Cancer
    Lifetime Broncos/Cowboys fan.

  2. #152
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    C/S
    Posts
    668
    Quote Originally Posted by DoomTrooper View Post
    Q: What did the paraplegic blind kid get for Christmas?


    A: Cancer
    Am I a horrible person for lauging at this?

  3. #153
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Louisville, Kentucky, United States
    Posts
    27,209
    Quote Originally Posted by Grabber View Post
    Am I a horrible person for lauging at this?
    Yes, we are.
    Thanks, Reid!

    Click on my sig to read JetRazor's and my story. Or PM me with any questions.

  4. #154
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    In the 303
    Posts
    1,547
    Quote Originally Posted by Grabber View Post
    Am I a horrible person for lauging at this?
    Quote Originally Posted by LordTrychon View Post
    Yes, we are.
    I know, that was definitely in bad taste... but I couldn't help but laugh when I first heard it.

    Hopefully this one won't get flagged, but delete it if it's too out of line:



    Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?


    A: Same time next month?
    Lifetime Broncos/Cowboys fan.

  5. #155
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    The world's Freezer (Québec/Canada)
    Posts
    1,799

    husband instalation help

    Dear technical support,

    last year I upgraded my system by replacing my Boyfriend 5.0 for a Husband 1.0. Since then I noticed a clear lost in general performance of the system, in particular for the applications flowers and jewlery wich worked perfectly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

    On top, Husband 1.0 proceeded to the uninstallation of important programs like romantism 9.5 and personnal attentions 6.5 and installed right after indesirable programs such as NHL 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1.

    Conversation 8.0 does not work anymore and when I try to load Cleaning up 2.6 the system completely stop working.

    I tried the nagging 5.3 program to solve the proble but with out results

    I am stuck and asking you for help since I dont know what to do

    Sign
    Desesperate

    __________________________________________________ ___________

    Dear desesperate,

    please keep in mind:
    Boyfriend 5.0 is a entertainment system
    Husband 1.0 is an exploitation system

    Please enter the following command : Itoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download tears 6.2. Please dont forget to install the update for guiltyness 3.0.

    If the application does work as conceived, Husband 1.0 should automatically start the following application : jewlery 2.0 and flowers 3.5.

    Please take note that an abusive usage of the solution proposed could cause the return of the default application of Husband 1.0 and lead to Grumpysilence 2.7, Happy hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

    Take also into account that the beer application is very bad and automatically download the beta version of loud snort and farts.

    Under anycircumstances should you install the mother in law, this application carries an hiddeen virus that eventually will disable all desirable functionalities of your system.

    A reminder, do not try to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. This application cannot be supported by the Husband 1.0 system and will cause a fatal errors.

    To sum it up, Husband 1.0 is an excellent system wich posses a limited memory and the leraning of new applications works slowly. We invite you to buy additionnal application to upgrade the memory and performance of your system like : cooking 3.0 and sexy lingery 2.7

    Thank you for believing in you product and good luck

    technical support
    Canadian Denver Bronco Fan #7

    Adopted Broncos:
    -:Mr. Decker:-

  6. #156
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    norwoodville , USA
    Posts
    1,070
    ned walks into a bar and sits down , a guy next to him says "hello , im nigel and im from great britian" , ned thinks for a second and replies "nice to meet you , im ned from fantastic america"

  7. #157
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Ville of Rose, NorCal
    Posts
    18,342
    Quote Originally Posted by prez View Post
    ned walks into a bar and sits down , a guy next to him says "hello , im nigel and im from great britian" , ned thinks for a second and replies "nice to meet you , im ned from fantastic america"
    Hehe. Good one.
    *2011 BCMB Locker Room Division I League Champion*
    *Voted; 2013 & 2015 BCMBA's Scariest Mod*
    *Voted; 2014 BCMBA's Best Avi and Most Friendly*



  8. #158
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    norwoodville , USA
    Posts
    1,070
    matt from iowa gets pulled over for speeding , the cop asks him "you got any ID" and matt replies "bout what"???

  9. #159
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    God's Country
    Posts
    18,826
    Quote Originally Posted by prez View Post
    matt from iowa gets pulled over for speeding , the cop asks him "you got any ID" and matt replies "bout what"???
    What did you get pulled over for, prez?
    Sick avy by Blondie79

  10. #160
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    norwoodville , USA
    Posts
    1,070
    Quote Originally Posted by jetrazor74 View Post
    What did you get pulled over for, prez?
    bein An Idiot Out Wonderin around...lol

  11. #161
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    norwoodville , USA
    Posts
    1,070
    Quote Originally Posted by jetrazor74 View Post
    What did you get pulled over for, prez?
    matts just sittin at home and enjoyin the dark beer

  12. #162
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    norwoodville , USA
    Posts
    1,070
    the makers is in the cupboard

  13. #163
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Vermont, native of Colorado
    Posts
    9,511
    THE BOTTLE OF WINE
    For all of us who are married, were married, wish
    you were married, or wish you weren't married, this
    is something to smile about the next time you see a
    bottle of wine:

    Sally was driving home from one of her business trips
    in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo
    woman walking on the side of the road.

    As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the
    car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

    With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

    Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit
    of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just
    sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw,
    studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown
    bag on the seat next to Sally.

    'What in bag?' asked the old woman.

    Sally looked down at the brown bag and said,'It's a
    bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

    The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.

    Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said,
    'Good trade'.

  14. #164
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    14,229
    That makes me remember a joke I was told...(I'm paraphrasing since I don't remember lol)

    One day this woman runs into the back of a young man's car. They pull over and exchange information and then wait for the cops. The woman polietly ask if the man would enjoy a drink of win with her. And he excepts, so the woman walks to the trunk of her car and pulls out a bottle of wine, and passes him the bottle and he takes a drink.

    "You want some?" he asked the lady

    "No I don't want to look like I was drinking and driving."

    Adopted Broncos:
    (2011-2013) Eric Decker
    (2014-current) Bradley Roby
    Adopted posters:
    Everyone

  15. #165
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    An End Zone Near You
    Posts
    16,160
    What's in a name?
    The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo) is not just an athlete. She is now a nurse currently working at an Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, Picabo, I.C.U.

    2013 Adopted Bronco - Duke Ihenacho

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