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  1. #346
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ozarks
    Posts
    12,807
    Two goldfish are in a tank.

    One looks to the other and says, “You man the guns while I drive."
    “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

    ― Mark Twain



  2. #347
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ozarks
    Posts
    12,807
    How did Hitler tie his laces?


    In little Nazis
    “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

    ― Mark Twain



  3. #348
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,410
    Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
    A: Because it was soda pressing.

  4. #349
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    7,616
    http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l7...amp69/asdf.jpg
    "Let's just give them Keenum for an, "I owe you".

  5. #350
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,410

  6. #351
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    7,616
    http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l7...amp69/asdf.jpg
    "Let's just give them Keenum for an, "I owe you".

  7. #352
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,410

  8. #353
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,410

  9. #354
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,410

  10. #355
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,410

  11. #356
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ozarks
    Posts
    12,807
    What do the Faiders and possums have in common?


    Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
    “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

    ― Mark Twain



  12. #357
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,410
    My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

    It’s an extremely rare dish order.

  13. #358
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,410
    One day a man walks into a bar and to his amazement, he finds a tiny person playing a tiny
    piano. Stunned the man asked the bartender where he got this amazing person. The
    bartender replied that inside the closet there is a genie that will grant him a single wish.

    The man dashed into the the closet and as the bartender said, there was a genie inside.
    Without hesitation the man wished for a million bucks, but instead 1 million ducks
    instantly appeared. Infuriated the man stormed to the bartender and screamed
    "I think your genie is hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks but instead I got a million ducks."

    The bartender shook his head and replied, "You're telling me... Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

  14. #359
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,410

  15. #360
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ozarks
    Posts
    12,807
    What is the difference between a Phillip Rivers and a baby?

    The baby will stop whining after awhile.
    “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

    ― Mark Twain



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