JOKE of teh DAY!

[FL BRONCO]

What does a Carolina Panthers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the Video Game

[Saddletramp]

One day a biker dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…
Satan: “Why so glum?”
Biker : “What do you think? I’m in hell!”
Satan: “Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?”
Biker : “Sure, I love to drink.”
Satan: “Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Bombay Sapphire, tequila, Guinness, red wine, single malt scotch. We drink ’til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don’t have to worry about getting a hangover, because you’re dead anyway.”
Biker : “Gee that sounds great!”
Satan: “You a smoker?”
Biker : “You better believe it.”
Satan: “All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie, you’re already dead, remember?”
Biker : “Wow…that’s awesome!”
Satan: “I bet you like to gamble.”
Biker : “Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.”
Satan: “Good,’ cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.”
Biker : “Cool!”
Satan: “What about Drugs?”
Biker : “Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…?”
Satan: “That’s right! Thursday is drug day.. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.”
Biker : “Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!”
Satan: “You gay?”
Biker : “No……”
Satan: “Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough……”

[Saddletramp]

[Saddletramp]

[johntbronco]

Apparently, it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so here goes!:
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub.

The doorman stops them and says, 'Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai.'

[L.M.]

[Saddletramp]

Game show.
Host: " Choose between:
A: spending the rest of your life with your wife or;"
Contestant: "B!!!!"

[L.M.]

[DevilSpawn]

Did my wife think I'm sexually unsatisfying?

A small part of me says yes.

[johntbronco]

[2 Minute Warning]

spring is far away sadly.....

What kind of music do Santa's Elves like????






Wrap

[DevilSpawn]

Does anyone remember the movie “Constipation”? Of course you don't because it never came out.

[johntbronco]

[L.M.]

[Lumiere]