Page 25 of 25 FirstFirst ... 15 23 24 25
Results 361 to 365 of 365
  1. #361
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ozarks
    Posts
    12,909
    What does a Carolina Panthers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

    He turns off the Video Game
    “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

    ― Mark Twain



  2. #362
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    7,728
    One day a biker dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…
    Satan: “Why so glum?”
    Biker : “What do you think? I’m in hell!”
    Satan: “Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?”
    Biker : “Sure, I love to drink.”
    Satan: “Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Bombay Sapphire, tequila, Guinness, red wine, single malt scotch. We drink ’til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don’t have to worry about getting a hangover, because you’re dead anyway.”
    Biker : “Gee that sounds great!”
    Satan: “You a smoker?”
    Biker : “You better believe it.”
    Satan: “All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie, you’re already dead, remember?”
    Biker : “Wow…that’s awesome!”
    Satan: “I bet you like to gamble.”
    Biker : “Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.”
    Satan: “Good,’ cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.”
    Biker : “Cool!”
    Satan: “What about Drugs?”
    Biker : “Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…?”
    Satan: “That’s right! Thursday is drug day.. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.”
    Biker : “Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!”
    Satan: “You gay?”
    Biker : “No……”
    Satan: “Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough……”
    Last edited by Saddletramp; 08-03-2019 at 02:58 AM.
    http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l7...amp69/asdf.jpg
    "Let's just give them Keenum for an, "I owe you".

  3. #363
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    7,728
    http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l7...amp69/asdf.jpg
    "Let's just give them Keenum for an, "I owe you".

  4. #364
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    7,728
    http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l7...amp69/asdf.jpg
    "Let's just give them Keenum for an, "I owe you".

  5. #365
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    9,510
    Apparently, it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so here goes!:
    An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Jap, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub.

    The doorman stops them and says, 'Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai.'

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •