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  1. #1
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    Thumbs up Absolutely amazing article by Woody Paige on McKinley. (Must read)

    I am not a Woody Paige admirer, but this is one of the best article i have EVER read in the Denver Post... I strongly recommend reading it when you have a chance.

    http://www.denverpost.com/paige/ci_16149407

    Colorado, which typically has one of the highest suicide rates in the nation, had a record 940 deaths by suicide last year. The Denver Post, Sept. 12, 2010

    Why would a smart, personable, resolute, "happy-go-lucky" Kenny McKinley with a college education, a young son, a $385,000 contract and a bright future in football and life commit suicide Sept. 20, 2010?

    Why?

    I think I understand why.

    I know an older man who eight years ago this month was committed to committing suicide.

    Me.


    The last, desperate, despondent, despicable act was all planned out. The Broncos were playing on Sunday, Sept. 15, 2002, against the 49ers. I would fly into San Francisco the day before, drive up to Napa Valley, enjoy a bottle of expensive red wine and check into a nice inn. The next morning I would head over to the coast and swim out in the Pacific Ocean far enough that I couldn't make it back to the beach.

    My death would be termed an "accidental drowning," and my family and few friends would be horrified, but spared the humiliation.

    I figured out the details while laying on the sofa staring at the ceiling for hours, as I did daily, and swallowing the pills a prominent Denver psychiatrist had prescribed over a period of months Prozac, Ritalin, Xanax, Valium, Ambien and Zoloft and swilling Jack Daniel's.

    I had everything to live for, but wanted nothing more than to die.

    I was suffering from deep depression.

    Gil Whiteley, who is a brother to me and had a key to my place, showed up and said: "You've got to do something."

    I replied: "I'm going to San Francisco."

    Instead, he called my longtime friend and family doctor, Allen Schreiber (who also has been a physician for the Nuggets, the Avalanche and currently the Rockies), and shoved the phone in my face. "I have a problem, Allen."

    Dr. Schreiber checked me into a private room on the secured maternity floor at a Denver hospital. The nurses took away my pills, my belt, my razor and my fingernail clippers. ("I'm not about to clip myself to death.")

    That night Dr. Schreiber prescribed one red pill. "What is this?" I asked the nurse. "I'm addicted to a lot of medications."

    "Benadryl," she said.

    "But I don't have a runny nose."

    It turned out that I had diabetes, which causes low serotonin levels in the brain and depression.

    I am so fortunate. Allen and Gil were there when I needed help. They saved my life. I am not depressed. I never want to die.

    Break your leg, and you can tell. Break your brain, and it's not so evident.

    Fifteen percent of the population in this country suffers from depression.

    Many of them contemplate, or try to commit, suicide.

    Several thousand of them do kill themselves annually.

    The number of young men (15-24) who have committed suicide in the U.S. has risen dramatically over the past 50 years. The highest numbers of suicides are committed using firearms.

    Why did the 23-year-old Kenny McKinley commit suicide with a gun?

    He believed it was the only way out of his misery, and he chose to do it. That's why.

    Truth is, there is nothing romantic, heroic, strong or good about committing suicide. We mourn Kenny Mc-Kinley's death. We hope that we learn from his suicide.

    According to those close to McKinley, there were no outward indications of trouble. He had been cheerful at Broncos headquarters. He received an ovation when introduced at a recent game at the University of South Carolina, where he was the team's all-time leading receiver. He seemed OK, two friends said, when he returned to Denver with his son Sunday. He appeared to be fine Monday when the friends went off to eat.

    The demons of depression come out when you're alone, when you have nothing to do.

    But Kenny displayed some of the prominent, potential suicide warning signs: Low mood, depression, despair and an expression of a wish to die.

    Police investigators discovered that Kenny had been depressed because of a second straight season-ending knee injury that put him on the injured reserve list. After the surgery, Kenny had said he should kill himself, and listeners doubted his words.

    He was found in bed, and the aroma of marijuana was present in the room. He did kill himself.

    Kenny McKinley's symptoms were not understood. He needed help. His life was not saved.

    The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (afsp.org) offers help, and lives can be saved. The organization lists warning signs, risk factors, immediate actions for those who fear someone might take his or her life, assistance resources. There are suicide hotline numbers to call in Denver (303-860-1200) and other metro cities, and throughout Colorado and the country (1-800-SUICIDE). There are Colorado doctors specializing in depression, other brain disorders and suicide prevention. There are people who care.

    In loving memory of Kenny McKinley, no longer ask "Why?" ask "What can we do to save thousands of others in Colorado?"
    I cant tell you how much i admire Woody for being strong enough to share this with the world... It just shows you that depression can affect anyone. No matter if your a football star, successful columnist or a janitor.

    Woody definitely deserves the recognition he deserves for this article... It must have been extremely difficult to let everyone know he committed to taking his own life 8 years ago...

  2. #2
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    I'm no stranger to this, and thrilled he brought that up for the public. If you know somebody who says they're better off dead, don't take chances. Take action.

    No normal minded person says that sort of thing.
    Brock you like a hurricane!

    Think of a bigger, stronger, more handsome Eli Manning.... That's Fargo.

  3. #3
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    This hits me pretty close for one reason or another. And I do understand that people can feel this way. Feeling alone or depressed while surrounded by people. then being alone and feeling even more this way. You're brain takes over and you dwell on the negative. You start slipping down a dark tunnel and soon you are surround by the darkness. It just takes over. Before you know it, you're no longer the person you were before. You question everything that is good in your life and see it all as superfilicial.

    It's like nothing you've felt before. Physical pain is easy. It's the mental that kills you.

    2013 Adopted Bronco - Duke Ihenacho

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fargo View Post
    I'm no stranger to this, and thrilled he brought that up for the public. If you know somebody who says they're better off dead, don't take chances. Take action.

    No normal minded person says that sort of thing.
    That's right, and I've been down that road myself. I was suicidal 11-12 years ago. Fortunately I got help.

    Recently someone I know posted on facebook he wanted to die. I called the Sheriff's Department. Here in Idaho if it's reported that someone is suicidal the authorities have to pick them up. I know that may sound dramatic, but I didn't want his blood on my hands.

    Thank you to my grandfather jetrazor for being a veteran of the armed forces!

  5. #5
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    That is a great article. Thanks for posting it.

    Hopefully, his openness will help someone who might be going through this.
    Administrator


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    Adopted Bronco: Derek Wolfe --- I adopted: Everyone!

    "a semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life ; "

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Al Wilson 4 Mayor View Post
    That's right, and I've been down that road myself. I was suicidal 11-12 years ago. Fortunately I got help.

    Recently someone I know posted on facebook he wanted to die. I called the Sheriff's Department. Here in Idaho if it's reported that someone is suicidal the authorities have to pick them up. I know that may sound dramatic, but I didn't want his blood on my hands.
    Good for you. Any idea what happened?

  7. #7
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    This made me cry, not just a little. But a lot. Because as I type these keystrokes I have a confession to make. I completely understand what both Woody and Kenny have gone through. Depression is not a good thing and it is correct that "the demons come out to play when you are alone and have nothing to do".

    Although I may have thought about the "easy way out". I have made a promise to myself, god, and others (even if I have never told them) to never do it. I just can't.

    I have suffered from panic and anxiety disorder. I have also suffered from depression. I still have my bouts and demons I battle. No longer on medication I take those demons down on a daily basis the natural way.

    I wish we could have saved you Kenny, you were an amazing young man.

    Kenny, you are forever in my heart and even more now I relate to you.

    Adopted Posters - Broncoholic MS, thatkidhunt, Al Wilson 4 Mayor, Thors Hammer, McSmashie, CanDB, Peanut, BroncoManiac_69, MightyHorse, CHARGER$, Chillez, EddieMac
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by OhBehave30 View Post
    Good for you. Any idea what happened?
    No, I don't have any idea. I know they found him eventually, because that's their job. I didn't ask the family about it though because they would have had a good idea at that point I was the one who made the call.

    Thank you to my grandfather jetrazor for being a veteran of the armed forces!

  9. #9
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    I also just wanted to let everyone know here that I may have never met you in person or talked to you. BUT, my inbox is always open if anyone has something they need to talk about. Having people there for you is always a good weapon for the demons we battle.

    I am here for you, will listen to you, offer advice, and overall care for you. ALL of you!!

    Adopted Posters - Broncoholic MS, thatkidhunt, Al Wilson 4 Mayor, Thors Hammer, McSmashie, CanDB, Peanut, BroncoManiac_69, MightyHorse, CHARGER$, Chillez, EddieMac
    Married Megan Joy on August 18th, 2013
    Proud Daddy of Jeremiah James born February 24, 2011

    Adopt-A-Bronco 2013 - Champ Bailey
    Yankees, Rockies, Nuggets, Avalanche, CU Buffs
    I still miss you Jake Plummer!




  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broncoholic JS View Post
    I also just wanted to let everyone know here that I may have never met you in person or talked to you. BUT, my inbox is always open if anyone has something they need to talk about. Having people there for you is always a good weapon for the demons we battle.

    I am here for you, will listen to you, offer advice, and overall care for you. ALL of you!!
    This goes for me as well... If anybody on here has a problem, dont ever be afraid to send me a message. I just lost one of my best friends in Iraq in August, and i can honestly say talking to several people on here really did make me feel better... Obviously its a different situation, but talking to people really can make you feel better.

    I know pride is a huge thing for guys and its tough to admit you need to see a therapist or just a friend. But sending someone a PM lets you keep things private and allow someone to help.

    Bronco nation is a 2nd family to a lot of us, so please dont be afraid to speak up...
    Last edited by d-bronx42; 09-23-2010 at 03:00 PM.

  11. #11
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    Like they said if anyone has a problem message them.









    .................





    I'm here too been through a lot I help. OR DO I?


    Sorry this is too serious for me and I was slipping for a moment.

    2013 Adopted Bronco - Duke Ihenacho

  12. #12
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    This article moved me deeply, as there were several times in my preteens where I thought of attempting suicide. My mother, brother and I were going through severe physical and emotional abuse from my father and I always thought it was my fault. If I had not been born, my father wouldn't have done what we did, as he told my mom "you are a great mother, but I should have never been a father." I stopped myself because I knew if I had done it, it would have been worse than any pain my father had put my mom and brother through. But I can understand because I've been at that place. I went through therapy and have now accepted and moved on from everything that happened and live a very happy life, but it takes a long time and I don't know if you ever get over all of it. But I know that which does not kill you makes you stronger and if I had not gone through all of it, I wouldn't be the person I am today and for that I can be grateful.

  13. #13
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    this was a heartfelt and awesome article. thank you OP for posting. you have helped so many people already that you will never know! cp from me...

    i know ive posted that i am a psychologist. but just because i have a degree and have counseled others doesnt mean i havent fought my own battles. at fourteen i purposely overdosed on my allergy medication. thank god my mom was such an intrusive parent and after alot of ipecac i survived. i hated her then but she is an amazing woman and i love her so much for loving me so much to but in. but that lingering feeling, that darkness of self loathing and worthlessness has always been there. and altho i have many good years in between, sometimes a decade, i am always vulnerable to its existence.

    the past few years have been rough on that front. and then tebow got drafted to denver and a new community opened for me. being a part of this bronco family has been such a light and inspiration for me. it sounds silly but just getting to meet new people and refocus onto something outside myself has been a breath of fresh air. and now to learn that my new friends are too facing their own personal struggles only makes me stronger in my fight. thank you. i love each and every one of you!

    for those who dont know this fight, do know that everything you say or do affects everything around you. a few kind words can go a long way for someone else even if you didnt know or intend for it to mean anything. my PM box is of course always open...

  14. #14
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    I lived in Denver for many years and respect him greatly

    I'm touched by his testimony. I too have dealt with depression and thought that my family would be better off If I were gone. I love them and life too much to take myself away from them. I am a gift to my family and friends. McKinley was a gift to us all and we can now only cherish him for teaching us that life is short and precious and that we must rely on one another to make it through the tough times in life. God bless you Kenny for your passion and spirit.

  15. #15
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    Just read this. Great great article...certainly wouldn't have expected this from Woody of all people. I'll admit I've never been able to understand suicide, but this helps shed some light. RIP Kenny.
    "In the red zone, in the red zone...Let's get 7, let's get 7."

    Broncos, Rockies, Nuggets, Avalanche

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