Page 18 of 19 FirstFirst ... 8 16 17 18 19 LastLast
Results 256 to 270 of 271
  1. #256
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Ville of Rose, NorCal
    Posts
    18,310
    Quote Originally Posted by Saddletramp View Post
    I came clean with the gf this morning. Explained why I am the way I am sometimes. To say she was shocked is an understatement. ��.
    Oh, I had those moments too! Some gals I dated couldn't handle and/or didn't want to believe.

    With your GF, honesty is always the best policy. So, good on ya for letting her in.
    *2011 BCMB Locker Room Division I League Champion*
    *Voted; 2013 & 2015 BCMBA's Scariest Mod*
    *Voted; 2014 BCMBA's Best Avi and Most Friendly*



  2. #257
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    15,306
    Quote Originally Posted by Saddletramp View Post
    I came clean with the gf this morning. Explained why I am the way I am sometimes. To say she was shocked is an understatement. ��.
    Saddle, I'm glad you told her. Understanding the "why" makes a big difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by ebsoria View Post
    I get what you're saying. I remember before I came to terms with It I had the anger too. I was sent to therapy and, at the time, it didn't help. It was something I internalized as well. Then for some reason in about my freshman year of High School I started to open up and be honest with myself. I started to let it out. I shared with my adoptive parents what happened in my early years. I shared with my older adoptive sisters and it actually brought us closer. The more I shared and opened up the more I realized that it's part of my past and I can't change it, so why not embrace it and let it grown me stronger for being a survivor. I began to really like the person I was and am now as I'm nearly 40 years old.

    I've had opportunities to mentor younger kids who have dealt with similar things. I've saved a few kids who's parents didn't know they were "touched" by knowing the signs and reporting.

    We all deal with it in our own way. The most important part right now is for you to realize you did nothing wrong to incur the abuses. I'll repeat that. YOU. DID. NOTHING. WRONG. All fault and error is on whomever hurt you. Once you really believe that, it's all blue sky for you to reach for.
    You're amazing. Hugs.
    Administrator


    #LupusAwareness

    Adopted Bronco: Derek Wolfe --- I adopted: Everyone!

    "a semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life ; "

  3. #258
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Not where I want to be.
    Posts
    7,237
    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut View Post
    Saddle, I'm glad you told her. Understanding the "why" makes a big difference.
    Don't know that she cares about the why...lol
    But, at least she knows why I can be an.....

  4. #259
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    15,306
    Quote Originally Posted by Saddletramp View Post
    Don't know that she cares about the why...lol
    But, at least she knows why I can be an.....
    That's what I meant. If she understands why you have moments, it could help the relationship.
    Administrator


    #LupusAwareness

    Adopted Bronco: Derek Wolfe --- I adopted: Everyone!

    "a semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life ; "

  5. #260
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Not where I want to be.
    Posts
    7,237
    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut View Post
    That's what I meant. If she understands why you have moments, it could help the relationship.
    I know what you meant. Just jerking your chain a little.

  6. #261
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Not where I want to be.
    Posts
    7,237
    Quote Originally Posted by ebsoria View Post
    Oh, I had those moments too! Some gals I dated couldn't handle and/or didn't want to believe.

    With your GF, honesty is always the best policy. So, good on ya for letting her in.
    Thanks. But her being the very strong woman she is, emotionally and physiologically (as sergeants in the U.S. Army Special Forces have to be) I really doubt it had any effect on her. Other than like I told Peanut, at least she knows why I can be me.....
    Last edited by Saddletramp; 01-17-2019 at 05:52 PM.

  7. #262
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Ville of Rose, NorCal
    Posts
    18,310
    Such a scary world we live in! My co-worker's daughter was targeted.

    https://www.abc10.com/article/news/l...a-9b208586e8c6

    They posted about it on FB and it has gone viral. That resulted in almost 5k shares and three local news groups have contacting them. This one was Monday evening. Goes to show that even when we are vigilant, there are predators using children to lure our children in.
    *2011 BCMB Locker Room Division I League Champion*
    *Voted; 2013 & 2015 BCMBA's Scariest Mod*
    *Voted; 2014 BCMBA's Best Avi and Most Friendly*



  8. #263
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Buckeye Nation
    Posts
    8,818
    Quote Originally Posted by ebsoria View Post
    Such a scary world we live in! My co-worker's daughter was targeted.

    https://www.abc10.com/article/news/l...a-9b208586e8c6

    They posted about it on FB and it has gone viral. That resulted in almost 5k shares and three local news groups have contacting them. This one was Monday evening. Goes to show that even when we are vigilant, there are predators using children to lure our children in.
    My oldest son used to always say I treated him like a baby because I literally wouldn't let him walk in a store alone until he was 16. I'd rather be a jerk than sorry.

    It's all terribly sad because when I was a kid you could walk to school, you could ride your bike places, and wander. I don't think my parents ever thought I'd be abducted or whatnot. Nowadays I get paranoid letting my younger kids go outside by themselves & we live out in the country.

  9. #264
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Ville of Rose, NorCal
    Posts
    18,310
    Quote Originally Posted by ELWAY421 View Post
    My oldest son used to always say I treated him like a baby because I literally wouldn't let him walk in a store alone until he was 16. I'd rather be a jerk than sorry.

    It's all terribly sad because when I was a kid you could walk to school, you could ride your bike places, and wander. I don't think my parents ever thought I'd be abducted or whatnot. Nowadays I get paranoid letting my younger kids go outside by themselves & we live out in the country.
    I remember my parents saying "come home when the street lights come on!". Now? I can't even imagine without my kids' phones having a tracker on them.
    *2011 BCMB Locker Room Division I League Champion*
    *Voted; 2013 & 2015 BCMBA's Scariest Mod*
    *Voted; 2014 BCMBA's Best Avi and Most Friendly*



  10. #265
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Not where I want to be.
    Posts
    7,237
    This ol world has gone to hell in a hand basket of late. And sadly, it's getting worse everyday.
    http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l7...amp69/asdf.jpg
    "Let's just give them Keenum for an "I owe you".

  11. #266
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Not where I want to be.
    Posts
    7,237
    My dad was a drunk. My mom always told us boys that he never drank until we came along. He was a mean drunk. There is a refrigerator in Arkansas that a dent in the door the size of my 4th grade head from him knocking me across the kitchen and into it. For whatever reason I was his favorite target when he was drunk. Maybe because I am the oldest. Who knows why. God only knows how many half siblings I have scattered around this country. By this country I mean the entire United States as he was a truck driver for many years. My...hatred for him manifests itself as anger...I take it out on more than just the gf. I have taken it out on folks here in the past. Not making excuses just explaining why. I lost track of the times he hit me when he was drunk.. The only time I can even remember why was for the fridge incident..and that was for eating all the crumbs of a bag of powdered sugar donuts... Don't know why I suddenly felt the need to spill this. In AA it's called the vomit effect. You can't stop it and it gets all over everyone.......yeah, I have had my own war with booze. Been lots of battles in that war where many a soldier died...... Times were I drove 20 miles to the house and woke up in my drive way not knowing how I got there...
    http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l7...amp69/asdf.jpg
    "Let's just give them Keenum for an "I owe you".

  12. #267
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Ville of Rose, NorCal
    Posts
    18,310
    Quote Originally Posted by Saddletramp View Post
    My dad was a drunk. My mom always told us boys that he never drank until we came along. He was a mean drunk. There is a refrigerator in Arkansas that a dent in the door the size of my 4th grade head from him knocking me across the kitchen and into it. For whatever reason I was his favorite target when he was drunk. Maybe because I am the oldest. Who knows why. God only knows how many half siblings I have scattered around this country. By this country I mean the entire United States as he was a truck driver for many years. My...hatred for him manifests itself as anger...I take it out on more than just the gf. I have taken it out on folks here in the past. Not making excuses just explaining why. I lost track of the times he hit me when he was drunk.. The only time I can even remember why was for the fridge incident..and that was for eating all the crumbs of a bag of powdered sugar donuts... Don't know why I suddenly felt the need to spill this. In AA it's called the vomit effect. You can't stop it and it gets all over everyone.......yeah, I have had my own war with booze. Been lots of battles in that war where many a soldier died...... Times were I drove 20 miles to the house and woke up in my drive way not knowing how I got there...
    Thanks for sharing! Vomit effect or whatever, don't let anyone stop you from sharing. Don't be embarrassed or feel bad for anything. Vomit all you want. I have two ears and eyes anytime you wanna keep letting it out.

    Very rough and tough circumstances, for sure!! I just keep going back to one thing I've already told you- It wasn't your fault.
    *2011 BCMB Locker Room Division I League Champion*
    *Voted; 2013 & 2015 BCMBA's Scariest Mod*
    *Voted; 2014 BCMBA's Best Avi and Most Friendly*



  13. #268
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    12,739
    Quote Originally Posted by Saddletramp View Post
    My dad was a drunk. My mom always told us boys that he never drank until we came along. He was a mean drunk. There is a refrigerator in Arkansas that a dent in the door the size of my 4th grade head from him knocking me across the kitchen and into it. For whatever reason I was his favorite target when he was drunk. Maybe because I am the oldest. Who knows why. God only knows how many half siblings I have scattered around this country. By this country I mean the entire United States as he was a truck driver for many years. My...hatred for him manifests itself as anger...I take it out on more than just the gf. I have taken it out on folks here in the past. Not making excuses just explaining why. I lost track of the times he hit me when he was drunk.. The only time I can even remember why was for the fridge incident..and that was for eating all the crumbs of a bag of powdered sugar donuts... Don't know why I suddenly felt the need to spill this. In AA it's called the vomit effect. You can't stop it and it gets all over everyone.......yeah, I have had my own war with booze. Been lots of battles in that war where many a soldier died...... Times were I drove 20 miles to the house and woke up in my drive way not knowing how I got there...
    Head up, mate. Tomorrow is a new day and its story is not yet written.

  14. #269
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Not where I want to be.
    Posts
    7,237
    Quote Originally Posted by Rastic View Post
    Head up, mate. Tomorrow is a new day and its story is not yet written.
    Quote Originally Posted by ebsoria View Post
    Thanks for sharing! Vomit effect or whatever, don't let anyone stop you from sharing. Don't be embarrassed or feel bad for anything. Vomit all you want. I have two ears and eyes anytime you wanna keep letting it out.

    Very rough and tough circumstances, for sure!! I just keep going back to one thing I've already told you- It wasn't your fault.
    Thanks gentleman... I know it's not my fault. And at 54 you'd think I'd be over it. It's just sometimes the anger comes boiling out.... And for that I owe a lot of people apologies.. Especially some members here. Peanut in particular. In the past she has been a target for my anger. Peanut I do sincerely apologize....
    http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l7...amp69/asdf.jpg
    "Let's just give them Keenum for an "I owe you".

  15. #270
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    15,306
    Quote Originally Posted by Saddletramp View Post
    Thanks gentleman... I know it's not my fault. And at 54 you'd think I'd be over it. It's just sometimes the anger comes boiling out.... And for that I owe a lot of people apologies.. Especially some members here. Peanut in particular. In the past she has been a target for my anger. Peanut I do sincerely apologize....
    Thank you for sharing. It's a hard thing to get over. Parents are suppose to love and protest, not be the cause of the pain. You mentioned AA. It's a good place to get help. There are other organizations that can help with other issues.

    I appreciate your apology, but I really think you might have the wrong person? Nine years ago, my username was BroncoFanInMD. Not a mod then (there was a mod named BroncFanIN. She drops by occasionally). If I am the correct person, I accept your apology.
    Administrator


    #LupusAwareness

    Adopted Bronco: Derek Wolfe --- I adopted: Everyone!

    "a semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life ; "

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •