Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Thornton, Colorado

    Talking Got Any Good Jokes?


    A Denver Bronco fan, an Oakland Raider fan and a Kansas City Chief fan
    were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a
    sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of
    alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime
    of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to

    However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they
    were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life
    imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the
    day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided
    they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

    As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said,
    "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each
    of you one wish before your whipping.

    "The Chief fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he
    thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my
    back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the
    whip went through.

    The Chief fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when
    the punishment was done.

    The Raider fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by
    himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two
    pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes
    before the whip went through again, sending the Raider fan out crying
    like a little girl.

    The Bronco fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but
    before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You
    support the greatest team in the world, your supporters are some of the
    best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have
    two wishes!"

    "Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Bronco fan replies.

    "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not
    20, but 100 lashes. "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and
    powerful man, you are also very brave, "the Sheik says with an admiring
    look on his face.

    "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish?

    What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

    "Tie the Raider fan to my back."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Rapid City, SD
    How do we know that the Native Americans were the first people in this country?

    They had reservations.
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldier96B View Post
    i also took a crap and it was orange

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Thornton, Colorado

    Why Men Started Wearing Earrings

    Why Men Started Wearing Earrings

    A man is at work one day when he notices that his co- worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

    The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
    "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
    His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So,how long have you been wearing one?"

    "Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

    (I always wondered how this trend got started)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Richmond, VA
    A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

    She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

    One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife. His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

    On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with Meatballs, one without!........Request bread..."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Richmond, VA
    Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
    Tearfully, she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this
    morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even
    answer the phone."

    Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and
    demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist
    told him,

    "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning, the alarm
    failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and
    hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both
    house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.

    "Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I
    was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."

    "When I finally got to the store, a bunch of people were waiting for me to
    open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people.

    All the time, the darn phone was ringing off the hook." He continued,
    "Then, I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to
    make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my
    hands and knees to pick up the nickels, and the phone was still ringing.
    When I came up cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me
    stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half
    of them hit the floor and broke."

    "Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got
    back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal
    thermometer. And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Cedar City, Utah
    Want some good jokes? Check out this thread.
    *** God Bless Our Military Men And Women***

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